How do they always find me?

(or: "JP's Post-Divorce Venture into the Dating World")

jp: I've been thinking about something, because my friends and I always say, "I-N-G does not equal E-D," meaning 'divorcing' is just not the same as 'divorced,' you know what I mean? So what I'm wondering is, what's happening right now with the whole divorce process?

Cute Romanian: Why do you ask?

(pause)

jp: Be-because you're married and I'm on a date with you?

Cute Romanian: I told you last week, we're separated.

jp: Yeah, so that's like a legal separation, right?

Cute Romanian: What's a legal separation?

(pause)

jp: So, um, how are the divorce proceedings going?

Cute Romanian: If I had my way, we would have been divorced yesterday.

jp: Then what's holding it up, if I may ask?

Cute Romanian (with sarcasm): There is the small issue of the INS.

jp: You mean Immigration? So if you weren't married you'd be sent back to your country?

Cute Romanian: That's right.

(pause)

jp: So you're not really getting a divorce at all?