The Twelve Days Of Christmas (vi)
Day One - Day Two - Day Three - Day Four - Day Five
Dramatis Personae… Proserpine (a farmer’s daughter and prisoner of Hell), Kali (a goddess of Purgatory), Six Geese A-Laying (compounding neuroses), Vesper (the protagonist), Evensong (his love), A Bauble (denial), Three French Hens (self-doubt), Muhammed Ali (love as assumed), A Christmas Tree (Hell & Purgatory (love gone wrong)), An Apocalypse (an apocalypse).
Day Six
150th Branch
Ting!
Kali looked like a beautiful woman made of ice. Proserpine looked like a shepherdess. They both stood in a giant stable, in which there were six chambers. Each housed a giant, frozen goose. The geese sat, rigid and frosted, atop their nests. The two girls spoke casually with each other.
"Was that the first chord?" asked Proserpine.
"It was," said Kali, "are you ready?"
"I don’t think it will be difficult."
Proserpine held up a small remote control and pressed a button on it. Jets of steam blew out around each goose. Kali watched them thaw.
"They are quite large."
"I’m used to animals. That’s why you brought me up from Hell."
"Yes, I would have preferred your mother – she is the more accomplished agriculturalist. But it is against the rules to forcibly bring her down from Heaven. Will you go to her before the end?"
"Of course."
"And your husband?"
"Pluto? He’ll be fine."
Kali laughed. It sounded like the wind.
"The man loves you."
"Enough to imprison me in Hell and force conjugal rights upon me? That’s not love. It’s lust."
"Lust can be a useful tool, when the luster thinks of it as love. You will tear his heart apart when you depart for Heaven."
"That’s not my fault or plan."
A sudden scream came from one of the geese. Frost evaporated from it to reveal jet black feathers. Wings unfolded and head held high, it hissed at the two girls. Proserpine gave it a careful stare and it settled back down to its nest.
"Accidental or not, it will be your vengeance."
"I don’t give it much thought."
All six geese were now hissing and jostling in their chambers. The atmosphere was now humid, and the stench of goose hung everywhere. A large, mucous-covered egg slid out from beneath one of the birds and rolled into the stable.
"So you will inflict evil upon him, just as he did to you."
"It’s not my fault, Kali. He is inflicting evil on himself by loving someone who cared nothing for him."
"You don’t feel any responsibility for that?"
"No."
The egg rolled up onto its end. It was soft and green, and steam came off it.
"Then, in some circles, what you are would be considered evil. You had power over him, and you let it eat his soul and drive him to madness."
"I am not evil. He took me from my mother’s arms and chained me in Hell. He is a god of evil."
"But you are his god."
A wet, slopping sound came from the egg as its top quartered and peeled itself back. A large, black goose covered in slime fought its way out and plopped onto the floor.
"I didn’t ask for it. In fact, I cannot believe you’re taking his side in this. Why are you twisting the situation?"
"I am not. I simply know – I am - the power that all women have. It can be a burden, as you are finding. You are not evil. If you are, it is stifled beneath a pillow of innocence."
The large baby goose waddled over to Kali and tried to bite her ankle. Its sharp teeth sparked off ice, and it recoiled and hissed.
"I will leave him before Twelfth Night."
"That is fair. Perhaps in another immortality, you will fare better."
More eggs were rolling into the stable and baby geese emerging. They immediately went to attack the two girls, but Proserpine shooed them all towards the stable’s exit. Some of the baby geese were laying their own eggs.
"Yes. Perhaps I will be born a man."
Kali laughed.
"No, you do not want that. Men are weak. You want to be a woman in control of her power."
The third generation of geese were born before their mothers had left the stable.
Day Six
231st Branch
Vesper rolled out of a doorway and onto a branch. He clutched his ribs in pain – the last fight he’d gotten into had lost him his dagger and broken his ribs. He closed his eyes against the pain and (for the umpteenth time today) wished he was back in his bauble. As he lay there, he felt a sharp pecking on his temple. He opened his eyes to see a hen.
"Pfft! ‘Oo are yuh? What brings yuh ‘ere?" said the hen, stabbing its beak into his face.
Vesper brushed the hen away from his face and stared at it.
"My name is Vesper and I'm on my way to Heaven."
"’Eavenne! Mon Dieu, what on earth are yuh going zere for?"
"To find my love, Evensong."
"Evan-song? A treacherouz name if eva’ I ‘eard one. Not so treacherouz as amour, I might add."
"She is not treacherous."
"Not treacherouz? Yuh are ze wretched imbécile indeed..! She is mozt évidemment a scoundrel of ze ‘ighest orderre!"
"How so?"
"Pah! Stupide az well az wretched. A fine combinazion, I zink not. She leave-ez yuh toiling in ze chaz-amz of Hell, whilzt she gallavantz in ze top-mozt branchez? She ‘as neva’ evenne come to zee yuh?"
"How could she?"
"Alors! Why I wazte my time ‘ere, je ne sais pas. But it does amuze me to explain juzt ‘ow malicieuse zis girl iz to yuh, to open your eyez to ze callouz diz-eregarde she ‘az been showing yuh all zis time. Ecoutez, yuh mozt pedeztrian vagabond, if ze girl iz in Paradis then she would ‘ave every right to vizit yuh if she was zo inclined."
"She does?"
"Bien sûr! How do yuh like zat?"
Vesper was silent. This had the ring of truth about it. Of course people would be allowed to pass from Heaven and down to Hell – why hadn’t she? Not even once.
"’ave yuh any Gitanes? I am, how yuh say..? Dying for ze smoke."
Vesper looked down at his destroyed body.
"I don't, no."
"Abzolutely uz-eless. Why not get out of my zight now? I cannot bear to glimpze your ghaztly visage any longerre. Carry on, wiz your idiotic quezt to Paradis. Yuh will die long before yuh meet ze girl ‘oo carez nuzzing for yuh."
"No, you are right. There is no point in me carrying on. I’ve been a fool, despite the warnings I’ve had."
The hen, which was scratching around on the bark, did not even look up. Vesper hung his head.
Then suddenly, a voice cried out from the trunk.
"I’m a baaaaaad man!" it said.
Vesper looked towards the trunk, and saw another hen fly from the door he’d just come out of. It sailed over the branch and into the Tree, squawking as it hurtled downwards and out of sight.
"Sacré bleu!" said the hen on the branch.
A man wearing boxing gloves and shorts came out of the doorway, shadow-boxing his way onto the branch. He looked at Vesper.
"Hey! You! Watch out for that hen!" he said.
"I am not zimply an ‘en! I am a Faverolles!"
"I’m a Faverolle you off this branch unless you split, hen!"
The hen took one, disgusted, look at the man and flew away. The man, smiling, walked over to Vesper and clapped him hard on the shoulder. Vesper doubled over.
"So who might you be?"
"My name is Vesper – who are you?"
"Who am I? You don’t know?"
"Umm, no…"
"I’m King of the World! The greatest!"
The man started to dance and shadow-box.
"I’m a baaaad man, you heard me, I’m a baaad man! Archie Moore fell in four, Liston wanted me more, so since he’s so great I’m a make him fall in eight! You ain’t never heard of me? I’m twenty two years old and ain’t gotta mark on my face – I’m the prettiest fighter there is! Not a scratch, I’m too fast to catch!"
Vesper was bemused.
"Sorry… I still don’t know who you are."
"Look V, you best remember this time, cos I only gonna save your skin the once. I’m Muhammed Ali, I am the greatest - I cannot be beat."
"You’re the greatest what?"
"Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand - I beat people up."
"You’re a fighter?"
"The best there ever was – now tell me, what are you doing up here for, looking all morose?"
"Nothing, anymore. I was travelling to Heaven to find my love, but the hen told me not to bother."
"Those hens! Don’t listen to them fools! Go find your woman!"
"But she never came to visit me in Hell – never. She doesn’t love me."
"You don’t know that, V. You don’t know that at all."
"But it all makes sense… Why I haven’t seen her in so long, everything makes sense this way."
Muhammed shook his head slowly.
"Something I said when I was the greatest on earth: He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. Take a risk, brother. The fight’s over long before you step in the ring – the fight’s in your head, in the gym, in your soul – it’s all about mindset, V."
Vesper smiled, but not with his eyes.
"I’m not certain, Muhammed."
"You a loser Vesper? I’m gonna leave you here. I only have time for winners. I’ll see you in Heaven, if you ever make it up there."
"Why are you going there?"
"You a damned fool, V. Why you think? To find my love."
"Who is that?"
"Hell knows, V. Some woman? Your woman? Could be your woman V, lord knows they think I’m the greatest!"
Vesper laughed and Muhammed, smiling, thumped him on the shoulder again.
"You’re alright, my brother. Just remember what I told you, right? Half these fools lose before they try – I know it's a hard fight to the top, but don’t be like them."
Muhammed jumped back into the stairwell and was gone.
A long while later, Vesper sighed and followed.
Dramatis Personae… Proserpine (a farmer’s daughter and prisoner of Hell), Kali (a goddess of Purgatory), Six Geese A-Laying (compounding neuroses), Vesper (the protagonist), Evensong (his love), A Bauble (denial), Three French Hens (self-doubt), Muhammed Ali (love as assumed), A Christmas Tree (Hell & Purgatory (love gone wrong)), An Apocalypse (an apocalypse).
Day Six
150th Branch
Ting!
Kali looked like a beautiful woman made of ice. Proserpine looked like a shepherdess. They both stood in a giant stable, in which there were six chambers. Each housed a giant, frozen goose. The geese sat, rigid and frosted, atop their nests. The two girls spoke casually with each other.
"Was that the first chord?" asked Proserpine.
"It was," said Kali, "are you ready?"
"I don’t think it will be difficult."
Proserpine held up a small remote control and pressed a button on it. Jets of steam blew out around each goose. Kali watched them thaw.
"They are quite large."
"I’m used to animals. That’s why you brought me up from Hell."
"Yes, I would have preferred your mother – she is the more accomplished agriculturalist. But it is against the rules to forcibly bring her down from Heaven. Will you go to her before the end?"
"Of course."
"And your husband?"
"Pluto? He’ll be fine."
Kali laughed. It sounded like the wind.
"The man loves you."
"Enough to imprison me in Hell and force conjugal rights upon me? That’s not love. It’s lust."
"Lust can be a useful tool, when the luster thinks of it as love. You will tear his heart apart when you depart for Heaven."
"That’s not my fault or plan."
A sudden scream came from one of the geese. Frost evaporated from it to reveal jet black feathers. Wings unfolded and head held high, it hissed at the two girls. Proserpine gave it a careful stare and it settled back down to its nest.
"Accidental or not, it will be your vengeance."
"I don’t give it much thought."
All six geese were now hissing and jostling in their chambers. The atmosphere was now humid, and the stench of goose hung everywhere. A large, mucous-covered egg slid out from beneath one of the birds and rolled into the stable.
"So you will inflict evil upon him, just as he did to you."
"It’s not my fault, Kali. He is inflicting evil on himself by loving someone who cared nothing for him."
"You don’t feel any responsibility for that?"
"No."
The egg rolled up onto its end. It was soft and green, and steam came off it.
"Then, in some circles, what you are would be considered evil. You had power over him, and you let it eat his soul and drive him to madness."
"I am not evil. He took me from my mother’s arms and chained me in Hell. He is a god of evil."
"But you are his god."
A wet, slopping sound came from the egg as its top quartered and peeled itself back. A large, black goose covered in slime fought its way out and plopped onto the floor.
"I didn’t ask for it. In fact, I cannot believe you’re taking his side in this. Why are you twisting the situation?"
"I am not. I simply know – I am - the power that all women have. It can be a burden, as you are finding. You are not evil. If you are, it is stifled beneath a pillow of innocence."
The large baby goose waddled over to Kali and tried to bite her ankle. Its sharp teeth sparked off ice, and it recoiled and hissed.
"I will leave him before Twelfth Night."
"That is fair. Perhaps in another immortality, you will fare better."
More eggs were rolling into the stable and baby geese emerging. They immediately went to attack the two girls, but Proserpine shooed them all towards the stable’s exit. Some of the baby geese were laying their own eggs.
"Yes. Perhaps I will be born a man."
Kali laughed.
"No, you do not want that. Men are weak. You want to be a woman in control of her power."
The third generation of geese were born before their mothers had left the stable.
Day Six
231st Branch
Vesper rolled out of a doorway and onto a branch. He clutched his ribs in pain – the last fight he’d gotten into had lost him his dagger and broken his ribs. He closed his eyes against the pain and (for the umpteenth time today) wished he was back in his bauble. As he lay there, he felt a sharp pecking on his temple. He opened his eyes to see a hen.
"Pfft! ‘Oo are yuh? What brings yuh ‘ere?" said the hen, stabbing its beak into his face.
Vesper brushed the hen away from his face and stared at it.
"My name is Vesper and I'm on my way to Heaven."
"’Eavenne! Mon Dieu, what on earth are yuh going zere for?"
"To find my love, Evensong."
"Evan-song? A treacherouz name if eva’ I ‘eard one. Not so treacherouz as amour, I might add."
"She is not treacherous."
"Not treacherouz? Yuh are ze wretched imbécile indeed..! She is mozt évidemment a scoundrel of ze ‘ighest orderre!"
"How so?"
"Pah! Stupide az well az wretched. A fine combinazion, I zink not. She leave-ez yuh toiling in ze chaz-amz of Hell, whilzt she gallavantz in ze top-mozt branchez? She ‘as neva’ evenne come to zee yuh?"
"How could she?"
"Alors! Why I wazte my time ‘ere, je ne sais pas. But it does amuze me to explain juzt ‘ow malicieuse zis girl iz to yuh, to open your eyez to ze callouz diz-eregarde she ‘az been showing yuh all zis time. Ecoutez, yuh mozt pedeztrian vagabond, if ze girl iz in Paradis then she would ‘ave every right to vizit yuh if she was zo inclined."
"She does?"
"Bien sûr! How do yuh like zat?"
Vesper was silent. This had the ring of truth about it. Of course people would be allowed to pass from Heaven and down to Hell – why hadn’t she? Not even once.
"’ave yuh any Gitanes? I am, how yuh say..? Dying for ze smoke."
Vesper looked down at his destroyed body.
"I don't, no."
"Abzolutely uz-eless. Why not get out of my zight now? I cannot bear to glimpze your ghaztly visage any longerre. Carry on, wiz your idiotic quezt to Paradis. Yuh will die long before yuh meet ze girl ‘oo carez nuzzing for yuh."
"No, you are right. There is no point in me carrying on. I’ve been a fool, despite the warnings I’ve had."
The hen, which was scratching around on the bark, did not even look up. Vesper hung his head.
Then suddenly, a voice cried out from the trunk.
"I’m a baaaaaad man!" it said.
Vesper looked towards the trunk, and saw another hen fly from the door he’d just come out of. It sailed over the branch and into the Tree, squawking as it hurtled downwards and out of sight.
"Sacré bleu!" said the hen on the branch.
A man wearing boxing gloves and shorts came out of the doorway, shadow-boxing his way onto the branch. He looked at Vesper.
"Hey! You! Watch out for that hen!" he said.
"I am not zimply an ‘en! I am a Faverolles!"
"I’m a Faverolle you off this branch unless you split, hen!"
The hen took one, disgusted, look at the man and flew away. The man, smiling, walked over to Vesper and clapped him hard on the shoulder. Vesper doubled over.
"So who might you be?"
"My name is Vesper – who are you?"
"Who am I? You don’t know?"
"Umm, no…"
"I’m King of the World! The greatest!"
The man started to dance and shadow-box.
"I’m a baaaad man, you heard me, I’m a baaad man! Archie Moore fell in four, Liston wanted me more, so since he’s so great I’m a make him fall in eight! You ain’t never heard of me? I’m twenty two years old and ain’t gotta mark on my face – I’m the prettiest fighter there is! Not a scratch, I’m too fast to catch!"
Vesper was bemused.
"Sorry… I still don’t know who you are."
"Look V, you best remember this time, cos I only gonna save your skin the once. I’m Muhammed Ali, I am the greatest - I cannot be beat."
"You’re the greatest what?"
"Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand - I beat people up."
"You’re a fighter?"
"The best there ever was – now tell me, what are you doing up here for, looking all morose?"
"Nothing, anymore. I was travelling to Heaven to find my love, but the hen told me not to bother."
"Those hens! Don’t listen to them fools! Go find your woman!"
"But she never came to visit me in Hell – never. She doesn’t love me."
"You don’t know that, V. You don’t know that at all."
"But it all makes sense… Why I haven’t seen her in so long, everything makes sense this way."
Muhammed shook his head slowly.
"Something I said when I was the greatest on earth: He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. Take a risk, brother. The fight’s over long before you step in the ring – the fight’s in your head, in the gym, in your soul – it’s all about mindset, V."
Vesper smiled, but not with his eyes.
"I’m not certain, Muhammed."
"You a loser Vesper? I’m gonna leave you here. I only have time for winners. I’ll see you in Heaven, if you ever make it up there."
"Why are you going there?"
"You a damned fool, V. Why you think? To find my love."
"Who is that?"
"Hell knows, V. Some woman? Your woman? Could be your woman V, lord knows they think I’m the greatest!"
Vesper laughed and Muhammed, smiling, thumped him on the shoulder again.
"You’re alright, my brother. Just remember what I told you, right? Half these fools lose before they try – I know it's a hard fight to the top, but don’t be like them."
Muhammed jumped back into the stairwell and was gone.
A long while later, Vesper sighed and followed.
posted by Juliet is Bleeding... | 11:48 pm
