A Theory

Twin Flames, Soul Mates - and Going Home - excerpts from The Awakener by Sandy Stevenson
A Twin Flame/Divine complement is the other half of you. In the past we have called this our soul mate. We need to redefine this term, as both exist. At a certain point in evolution, each soul divides into a feminine and a masculine energy and begins learning along two different paths. You may perhaps assume that your twin would be very similar to you, but this is not so. The two learn in quite different directions, so that when final joining takes place, the learning each has done is gained by both. They complement each other. After the separation takes place, they join up only very occasionally, sometimes in physical form. The main purpose in making this reconnection, is to reflect back to one another that they have reached a certain point in their evolution. This learning continues until each has completed all the learning that can be obtained in this separated form. At this point they would feel integrated and complete within themselves and would no longer feel a great need to be with their twin or anyone else.

For the more evolved soul it is normal for only one twin to be physically incarnated in the same time period. The other usually remains discarnate in order to help balance the energy of their twin. This allows an easier time for the one who is incarnated.

You may feel sad to think your twin may not be incarnated at this time, because you wish to share your life with them. This can reflect an incompleteness still present within yourself. Actually you are sharing your life with them, though not in the physical form. You will find that your considerations of need, loss, time and space are of a third dimensional nature.

The love between the twin flames cannot be described in the language of Earth. It is an absolute state of unconditional love and beyond the capability of any being whilst incarnated, to envisage or experience this incredible level of love in its fullest capacity. After incarnating here for an extensive period it is sometimes hard to conceive of that magnitude of love.

Upon completion of the exquisitely beautiful stage of ascension, this time the twin flames are reunited forever. They may now do whatever they wish, including returning home. Home can mean different places to different people because the evolution of each being is different. You may have had moments in your life when the memory of this place was triggered and you felt a deep longing, sadness or a strong desire to be somewhere you couldn't quite consciously grasp or define.

Twin Soul or Soulmate? - excerpts from Soulmates by Sue Minns
The vast majority of us will not find that one-and-only person with whom we will live happily ever after, because that state cannot be permanent on earth. We will not get on with the job in hand - experiencing life in our human containers - if we sit gazing into another's eyes all day long. Happily ever after comes later, when we have been polished and rubbed (probably not in the way we would prefer) into shining brilliance by our earthly experiences, and our soulmates are the ones who will help us achieve this. The myth of the one and only, and the ensuing state of happily ever after, has its roots in our souls history and there is confusion in people's minds between a soulmate and what is termed a twin soul or twin flame. This confusion leads to the expectation that a soulmate will fulfil us in the way that only a twin soul is able to. As the name implies, our twin flame is literally our twin. The yearning to be united with another comes from the memory that time when we did exist in union and perfect harmony with our twin soul.

What must the caterpillar do
That it may one day fly?

The caterpillar doesn't sprout wings - it actually liquefies. It has a very dark night of the soul in its chrysalis, caterpillar-style, and totally loses its old identity.

The greater the autonomy of the ego, the darker this experience needs to be. Our egos have built up walls and barriers, created masks and behaviour patterns throughout our lives, burying our true nature under these defences. From childhood onwards our egos are in control and mostly making sure that we become someone who we truly are not. Acceptable to society, yes, but not living according to our true blueprint. Egos cannot create that wholeness of the heart, which will end suffering, and in a sense the ego - in a dark night - realises that it is the problem. It stands between us and our deepest yearnings, always whispering that it knows the best way forward. In the darkest hour before the dawn, the ego surrenders to a power higher than itself, one that aligns us with our divinity and puts us back together again in a different way. Poor old ego, it thinks it has done a really good job through all these years and, in a sense, it has. But it is also a manipulative control freak with devious ways and subtle methods of achieving its own ends, and now needs to be relegated to middle management status. Now it is time to dance to a different drum, to change key and sing to a different tune.

So, in summary, a dark night of the soul is not a prerequisite to the opening of your spiritual nature, but it is mentioned here because such an experience may be triggered by a soulmate - a dark knight or lady of the soul. At some point further down the road, you will be able to see what a powerful punctuation mark in your life your meeting with them has been.

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
T. S. Eliot