Why The Past Is Important
In my first relationship, I found it difficult to imagine my then-boyfriend ever having been with anyone else. I categorically despised all his exes, and the fact that they floated around college didn't help. He was even more obsessed with the skeletons in my closet, despite the fact that back then they were scarce - I was basically virginal, yet he still managed to find reasons to slate me for my 'past'.
As you get older, you increasingly learn to deal with the fact that the person you're with is going to have had a past, and will therefore have had (God forbid) other partners. It's not as if we're 17 anymore. In fact, if any of us met someone now who hadn't lived through the experiences we have, we'd no doubt deem them too naive and too breakable.
I for one would be more scared of getting involved with someone who'd never had a girlfriend, since this would be an indication of (a) What's wrong with him? Why has no-one else ever wanted to go near him? or (b) is he a complete whore that just fucks around?
Everything a person has been through before is just what's made them who they are today, and I don't care how corny that may sound. And anyone who thinks that a virginal creature is less likely to fuck them over than someone who's had orgies with everyone in town (as per Chasing Amy) needs to take a reality check.
I may be biased, but I think that perceived promiscuity is merely a reflection of the situations a person has been in. Had my first relationship worked out as I'd wanted it to, I would have stayed with the same guy forever and ever and hence been deemed an angel. Bad luck, it didn't work out that way - and no doubt because, quite frankly, love is a cunt.
I know of a girl who's slept with in the region of 30 men (and counting). This is more to do with the fact that she's picked the wrong guys (and, no doubt, jumps into bed with them too quickly) than with her being a complete whore or getting another notch on her bedpost.
I also know other girls who can count the number of men they've slept with on one hand, and yet the circumstances they've been in denote utter whoredom. This is where the whole concept of the numbers game is fundamentally flawed.
And the ultimate reason why people have to accept each others' pasts is that the past has brought you to where you are today. You could have had en masse romps with the entire population of Great Britain, but decided yesterday that you wanted a meaningful relationship.
Likewise, you could be a complete novice in the cuntish game that is love, but I'd be far more wary of a guy like that than of one who'd "been around the block a few times". They don't know what they want, or why they want it. They haven't been through the whole relationship conundrum, and it's not necessarily that they're too breakable, just that they haven't experienced enough of life or love to know what it is they're really looking for.
As you get older, you increasingly learn to deal with the fact that the person you're with is going to have had a past, and will therefore have had (God forbid) other partners. It's not as if we're 17 anymore. In fact, if any of us met someone now who hadn't lived through the experiences we have, we'd no doubt deem them too naive and too breakable.
I for one would be more scared of getting involved with someone who'd never had a girlfriend, since this would be an indication of (a) What's wrong with him? Why has no-one else ever wanted to go near him? or (b) is he a complete whore that just fucks around?
Everything a person has been through before is just what's made them who they are today, and I don't care how corny that may sound. And anyone who thinks that a virginal creature is less likely to fuck them over than someone who's had orgies with everyone in town (as per Chasing Amy) needs to take a reality check.
I may be biased, but I think that perceived promiscuity is merely a reflection of the situations a person has been in. Had my first relationship worked out as I'd wanted it to, I would have stayed with the same guy forever and ever and hence been deemed an angel. Bad luck, it didn't work out that way - and no doubt because, quite frankly, love is a cunt.
I know of a girl who's slept with in the region of 30 men (and counting). This is more to do with the fact that she's picked the wrong guys (and, no doubt, jumps into bed with them too quickly) than with her being a complete whore or getting another notch on her bedpost.
I also know other girls who can count the number of men they've slept with on one hand, and yet the circumstances they've been in denote utter whoredom. This is where the whole concept of the numbers game is fundamentally flawed.
And the ultimate reason why people have to accept each others' pasts is that the past has brought you to where you are today. You could have had en masse romps with the entire population of Great Britain, but decided yesterday that you wanted a meaningful relationship.
Likewise, you could be a complete novice in the cuntish game that is love, but I'd be far more wary of a guy like that than of one who'd "been around the block a few times". They don't know what they want, or why they want it. They haven't been through the whole relationship conundrum, and it's not necessarily that they're too breakable, just that they haven't experienced enough of life or love to know what it is they're really looking for.
posted by A Girl Like Me | 11:25 pm
Agreed, I would also prefer someone experienced (for exactly the reasons in your last paragraph). But I think the point of the film was that it can be hard to cope with.