I Love You Still...
On that illusory day you looked away in winsome pretense,
Avoiding my tender gaze.
Penetrating gloomy gray, my heart’s bouquet shined intense -
My streaming love-lights pierced your haze.
In spite of the dread - despite my defenses -
With senseless LOVE my fiery heart blazed.
And as I completely and faithfully built it,
With equal force you razed.
“I love you,” you told me deceitfully, in dark morning’s chill
(My soul is so willingly chained.)
My liquid flow alive, revived, dispersed in rushing thrill -
Childlike, perfervid, unfeigned.
But your passion passed, revolved like the turn of a mill:
Died, emaciated and drained.
And though my spirit is strained and my bed tear-stained,
Still no reason is gained.
So reigns this ill-named Bane over all its slain, whose dying lips proclaim,
”I love you still…”
~ Witt
Avoiding my tender gaze.
Penetrating gloomy gray, my heart’s bouquet shined intense -
My streaming love-lights pierced your haze.
In spite of the dread - despite my defenses -
With senseless LOVE my fiery heart blazed.
And as I completely and faithfully built it,
With equal force you razed.
“I love you,” you told me deceitfully, in dark morning’s chill
(My soul is so willingly chained.)
My liquid flow alive, revived, dispersed in rushing thrill -
Childlike, perfervid, unfeigned.
But your passion passed, revolved like the turn of a mill:
Died, emaciated and drained.
And though my spirit is strained and my bed tear-stained,
Still no reason is gained.
So reigns this ill-named Bane over all its slain, whose dying lips proclaim,
”I love you still…”
~ Witt
posted by Wittenberg95 | 10:07 pm
*applause*
Harsh, Aristoteli. But I don't 'get' poetry anyway, so who am I to say? Maybe it's actually shit. But then, maybe your one was actually shit. I dunno.
i love it.
*applauding Naruda*
*still applauding Witt*
Apparently there is some fear that I am overly sensitive or that I have taken offense at a comment above, or that I may wish to kill someone, or worse, that I might never post again on LIAC. No need to worry: this is certainly not the case.
When I read Aristoteli's comment, I had several reactions.
One, his review reads like something I myself might have written. I too am a smart-ass. I also enjoy self-deprecation, so I printed out his comment and
shared it with everyone I know, who all laughed, and I with them. Since I actually loathe everything I write I was glad to see someone finally agree with me. Nothing I write and post online is written for anyone but me, though. Whether you like it or hate it does not affect me in the slightest. My writing, like my self, just is. Take it or leave it. I'm too busy and self-absorbed to care, really.
Two, poetry is as indefinable as love. You get little elusive glances at its dynamics but it is ultimately very slippery and difficult to pin it down because there really are no rules. And it is all subjective.
Third, I love Pablo Neruda and enjoyed re-reading that poem.
Fourth, as a shy quiet geek loser-type I admit to taking the "Lord of the Rings" reference as be a very high compliment.
Finally, it is technically impossible for the words of a stranger to damage me. You can only be really wounded by those you know. By those you love.
~ Witt