To that girl I met, who reminded me of that girl I loved,
It was so surreal, you really did remind me of her - you were so alike. You had the same hair, the same face, the same personality. You even had her name.
The only difference, I suppose, was that your eyes didn't sparkle when you saw me, and my heart didn't flutter when I saw you - but nobody could've expected that.
In any case, I wanted to thank you. For reminding me of that girl. I hope that doesn't sound like I just saw you as a vessel for memories, because I don't. You are your own person. But you do blur with her in my head, though, and that's why I wanted to apologise as well.
Some people 'get over love'. I've never really understood that. I can understand how I can block out and forget emotions I once had with certain people, but I don't quite see why I'd want to do that. I like to keep the people (all the people) I loved close in my heart, in that perfect remembered form, so I can feel the depths of happiness & sadness again, and explore those trillion places that any love can create. I don't want to shut all that down. How else do we learn? What else was the point?
So when I meet someone like you, someone so similar to someone I loved, I can't help but associate you with her. It's hard for me to be friends with people like you. You change my memories and elicit responses to do with her and not you. I know you're different people, so I'm sorry about that.
But friends are easy to come and go by. The close, untainted remembrance of love is rare, and I'm not shutting it down for anybody.
So yes, I'm sorry that when we hugged I pulled away - it's not because I don't like you, it's because I get cut when I touch her.
Not your fault. But I get the feeling you might pay for it anyway.
The only difference, I suppose, was that your eyes didn't sparkle when you saw me, and my heart didn't flutter when I saw you - but nobody could've expected that.
In any case, I wanted to thank you. For reminding me of that girl. I hope that doesn't sound like I just saw you as a vessel for memories, because I don't. You are your own person. But you do blur with her in my head, though, and that's why I wanted to apologise as well.
Some people 'get over love'. I've never really understood that. I can understand how I can block out and forget emotions I once had with certain people, but I don't quite see why I'd want to do that. I like to keep the people (all the people) I loved close in my heart, in that perfect remembered form, so I can feel the depths of happiness & sadness again, and explore those trillion places that any love can create. I don't want to shut all that down. How else do we learn? What else was the point?
So when I meet someone like you, someone so similar to someone I loved, I can't help but associate you with her. It's hard for me to be friends with people like you. You change my memories and elicit responses to do with her and not you. I know you're different people, so I'm sorry about that.
But friends are easy to come and go by. The close, untainted remembrance of love is rare, and I'm not shutting it down for anybody.
So yes, I'm sorry that when we hugged I pulled away - it's not because I don't like you, it's because I get cut when I touch her.
Not your fault. But I get the feeling you might pay for it anyway.
posted by Juliet is Bleeding... | 11:32 am
Ah, but the girl I met was in fact the girl I was in love with (at one time). So I don't still love her, per se. I am in love with that idea of her from way back when - but she's a different person now.
JiB, that was so beautiful, it aches.
Why, thank you kindly... It's nice to know I can create beauty from neurosis and hate.
but then you are over her. getting over someone doesn't mean forgetting. it just means that you're no longer wrapped up in that person. you go on with your own life and the pain becomes less. there's no reason to forget any part of it. but if we are unable to get over someone, then we become stuck and it is impossible to really be with someone new.
and that really was a beautiful post.
Thank you too, and I agree.
Been at the whacky baccy again, eh Um?