Loss

I think I lay in your arms too long.

I let you stay until too late in the afternoon; I failed to laugh when you expressed emotion; I forgot to slap you when you declared undying love.

I think I forgot who I was, for a minute.

I let my guard down. I wanted you. I think I even needed you. I let all sanity betray me and hope convince me. I neglected my omnipresent cynicism and destroyed the very distrust that is my crucifix.

I think I lost my reasoning.

I dropped my fears on the floor with my clothes. I unpacked my belongings from my suitcase and hung my jacket in your wardrobe. I left my shampoo on the shelf in your bathroom.

I think I bruised myself.

I let you into my heart and gave you all I had, and you betrayed me. I told you my every waking thought and you disposed of me.

I think I gave you all of me.

Something died the night I let you leave in the black of midnight. Something has festered within me ever since and I cannot erase it.

Time heals all wounds but does not conceal the scars.