The Promiscuity Index (The Male Version)
I refer to this post in which JulietIsBleeding categorises women into sectors depending on their sexual style. I thought it was only fair I retaliated with a male version of the said index.
Never let it be said that men who sleep around are considered studs whilst women who do the same are branded sluts / whores / slappers.... That is only true in the eyes of a man!
I won't bother talking about the virgins and the saints. That's boring and obvious, and quite frankly, too repulsive for the open forum.
Mr Arrogant Dumbass
Assumes you'll have sex without using protection. Protests when you insist. Boasts about his tally. May tell stories about girls he met that had never had an orgasm before until they met him and he wowed them with his technique. He may have slept with scores of women, but he's probably never had a girl that didn't fake it. Normally has a dick the size of a chipolata sausage.
Mr Lover Lover
Plays on girls' emotions. Probably hasn't fucked that many women, but has learnt how to work their minds. Likely to fuck you up emotionally. Is great in the sack but at a high price. Will however respond well to comments such as 'You're the best I've ever had' since it gives him the control he craves. Unfortunate for him if he meets a girl who says these things but doesn't mean them. This may actually fuck him up.
Mr Big
Has a huge nob but has no idea how to use it. Thinks his penis gives him automatic prowess. Often has no class. May be inclined to penetrate a girl's anus without asking first. Once attached emotionally, he probably won't let go. Will probably have encountered many women who've wanted him just for the size of his piece, therefore emotionally vulnerable and easily pleased in the love stakes.
Mr Insecure
Pretends to receive calls from a modelling agency whilst on a date with you. Has been on lots of random dates but failed to secure a long term relationship. Pretends he doesn't want one, when deep down he's just too scared. His pride lies in his physical appearance or in material possessions. Likely to be quite good in bed on the basis of having read every piece of literature on sex he could lay his hands on. Has a tendency to date younger women. They are less likely to screw him over, which is his ultimate fear.
The Male Whore
Doesn't care who he screws. Into one night stands and infidelity. Unscrupulous about his sexual encounters. Some similar traits to the Arrogant Dumbass but will be more concerned with contraception, possibly due to a bad experience with herpes or crabs.
Of course there are more. I could go on forever. But it's not just girls that get a bad name. We're just as judgemental. Honestly.
Never let it be said that men who sleep around are considered studs whilst women who do the same are branded sluts / whores / slappers.... That is only true in the eyes of a man!
I won't bother talking about the virgins and the saints. That's boring and obvious, and quite frankly, too repulsive for the open forum.
Mr Arrogant Dumbass
Assumes you'll have sex without using protection. Protests when you insist. Boasts about his tally. May tell stories about girls he met that had never had an orgasm before until they met him and he wowed them with his technique. He may have slept with scores of women, but he's probably never had a girl that didn't fake it. Normally has a dick the size of a chipolata sausage.
Mr Lover Lover
Plays on girls' emotions. Probably hasn't fucked that many women, but has learnt how to work their minds. Likely to fuck you up emotionally. Is great in the sack but at a high price. Will however respond well to comments such as 'You're the best I've ever had' since it gives him the control he craves. Unfortunate for him if he meets a girl who says these things but doesn't mean them. This may actually fuck him up.
Mr Big
Has a huge nob but has no idea how to use it. Thinks his penis gives him automatic prowess. Often has no class. May be inclined to penetrate a girl's anus without asking first. Once attached emotionally, he probably won't let go. Will probably have encountered many women who've wanted him just for the size of his piece, therefore emotionally vulnerable and easily pleased in the love stakes.
Mr Insecure
Pretends to receive calls from a modelling agency whilst on a date with you. Has been on lots of random dates but failed to secure a long term relationship. Pretends he doesn't want one, when deep down he's just too scared. His pride lies in his physical appearance or in material possessions. Likely to be quite good in bed on the basis of having read every piece of literature on sex he could lay his hands on. Has a tendency to date younger women. They are less likely to screw him over, which is his ultimate fear.
The Male Whore
Doesn't care who he screws. Into one night stands and infidelity. Unscrupulous about his sexual encounters. Some similar traits to the Arrogant Dumbass but will be more concerned with contraception, possibly due to a bad experience with herpes or crabs.
Of course there are more. I could go on forever. But it's not just girls that get a bad name. We're just as judgemental. Honestly.
posted by A Girl Like Me | 6:34 pm
dear mr. lover lover,
i faked it.
I don't see how girls can 'fake it' - you can tell if they're having an orgasm by (i) the torrent of extra wetness and (ii) the contractions.
Unless, PF, you're talking about the anal.
i tend to fall for mr. lover lover. quite often actually. i'm pathetic. however, being that i'm somewhat hard-hearted, my love is only as real as i make it, but i paint prettier pictures than the reality in my heart. and perhaps it's cruel of me to say i faked it, but in some way it's true. and i'm sure all those men i've painted pictures for would agree. and they'd all call me a self-serving bitch. but what can i do? i need real love and i know they only did the same thing to me.
but if you want to talk about physical orgasams, well then...the truth is
1. most women will never have one, ever. sad but true.
2. wetness is not key. i get wet like a pool from the start and you'd have no way of knowing that the fluid had increased.
3. contractions can be faked, if the woman has strong vaginal muscles. besides, the actual contractions are so hard for a man to feel.
but if she cries, or she laughs uncontrollably, or she goes limp and warm, or she starts to shake, then you can be sure of it. but not if she screams. women can fake it jib. i prefer not to fake that though.
Okay, I thought it was the whole emotional madness thing that could be faked.
Though yep, I missed out other physical reactions like uncontrollable shaking / sweating / salivation / whatever at the point of climax. Basically, if something drastically fucked up doesn't happen to the girl's autonomous reactions then she hasn't come. Or at least, hasn't come very hard.
... in my limited experience, anyway!
Believe me, we CAN fake it.
Girls that think they can 100% fake it have probably never had a real orgasm before.
Blokes, in fact, can fake more easily. They have shitty little orgasms in comparison to the mammoth, god-defining quakes that girls get. Lucky bints.
hum. i have never "faked it"... perhaps i am a statistical abnormality...
but let me ask this... is "faking it" a good thing, or a bad thing?
on one hand, it leaves a man with his self confidence intact, and maybe even feeling quite good about himself. on the other hand, that false sense of accomplishment leads him to believe that he doesn't need to improve his technique, and generally ends up with the woman continuing to "fake it".
anyone?
Why would a girl fake it to a guy she was in a relationship with? I think the whole fakery takes place on one-nighters when it's more 'polite' not to suggest the guy is being shit in bed. Which is probably why I can't understand how girls can fake it, because I don't generally go for one-nighters. When I'm crap in bed with my girlfriend she'll just push me off and go to sleep.
That only happened once, mind.