It's Been a Year . . .
Its been a year since we stopped speaking for the first time. I will never forget that day because I was running in and out of meetings and couldn't even call you to confirm our plans. After all, you still met me, but you were so cold, you wouldn't even look at me because you knew what I was going to tell you and we walked all the way to Bryant Park where we sat and we talked and we cried. I explained everything - I explained that I couldn't leave, I explained how much I love you, I explained how much I'm hurting all three of us...
We went in search of a bar where we got our signature, goose and cranberry. You wouldn't even let me order the drinks, because as I took my sunglasses off I had huge mascara circles under my huge eyes. We drank sitting across from each other our feet entangled together and holding hands. You kept telling me to stop crying as tears were rolling from your eyes. Yet, you still made me laugh and a smile kept
emerging on my lips despite the tears streaming from my eyes.
We walked to Herald Square where we sat and laughed and cried some more. Finally, we went to see that show. I don't even remember the name anymore, but the experience was surreal. I remember walking up that empty staircase and it was like a scene out of a movie, we were drawn together like two magnets. I swear there were sparks with that kiss, things like that don't happen in real life. We sat through the entire show holding each other as if for support. It was essential to both our survival. We laughed and cried and kissed. We both thought that it was the last time we're gonna see each other. With the curtain, we went separate ways, you to the left and I to the right. We were walking at the same pace and were both on the phone as I kept
following you with my eyes until I lost you in the crowd. I saw you walk out of the theater and in that instant on an impulse, I ran after you. I couldn't see you. Then, I saw you and I ran - I jumped on top of you and we hugged for a few short minutes which lasted a lifetime. You turned to go as your eyes never dried from the tears and mine just kept streaming. I looked after you until your white tee shirt blended with the rest of the crowd. I dried my tears and got into my husband's car when he came to pick me up. I couldn't say a word, because I knew if I were to open my mouth, the waterworks would start. Finally, my husband asked me why I am so upset and the only answer that I could muster was, "I just lost my best friend."
We went in search of a bar where we got our signature, goose and cranberry. You wouldn't even let me order the drinks, because as I took my sunglasses off I had huge mascara circles under my huge eyes. We drank sitting across from each other our feet entangled together and holding hands. You kept telling me to stop crying as tears were rolling from your eyes. Yet, you still made me laugh and a smile kept
emerging on my lips despite the tears streaming from my eyes.
We walked to Herald Square where we sat and laughed and cried some more. Finally, we went to see that show. I don't even remember the name anymore, but the experience was surreal. I remember walking up that empty staircase and it was like a scene out of a movie, we were drawn together like two magnets. I swear there were sparks with that kiss, things like that don't happen in real life. We sat through the entire show holding each other as if for support. It was essential to both our survival. We laughed and cried and kissed. We both thought that it was the last time we're gonna see each other. With the curtain, we went separate ways, you to the left and I to the right. We were walking at the same pace and were both on the phone as I kept
following you with my eyes until I lost you in the crowd. I saw you walk out of the theater and in that instant on an impulse, I ran after you. I couldn't see you. Then, I saw you and I ran - I jumped on top of you and we hugged for a few short minutes which lasted a lifetime. You turned to go as your eyes never dried from the tears and mine just kept streaming. I looked after you until your white tee shirt blended with the rest of the crowd. I dried my tears and got into my husband's car when he came to pick me up. I couldn't say a word, because I knew if I were to open my mouth, the waterworks would start. Finally, my husband asked me why I am so upset and the only answer that I could muster was, "I just lost my best friend."
posted by Tiny | 2:20 pm
Grey Goose & Cranberry, mmm... Also good because they didn't mutate the spelling of 'grey' for the yanks.
But more importantly; why not lose the husband instead?
Because, this was going to be my first post and because he's really not the person that I thought he was, and because nothing in life is ever simple:
_______________
Here's my 1st post....
Even a cunt can get cunted.
I've been an avid reader of this blog ever since the whole drama began
and as much as I've wanted to contribute I haven't gotten the nerve or
the patience. I feel that I could write a novel based on the last 2
years of my life, but perhaps it won't be an interesting read.
Perhaps, I did all of this to myself and perhaps I'm still too young
to understand the full impact.
Ever since I had my heart broken at the mature age of seventeen to a
guy that I (obviously) lost my virginity to, I've had a very practical
outlook on love - unconditional, consuming and everlasting love
happens only in movies and cheesy novels. "True love" happens once and
usually the first time and you're still too young and vulnerable and
have no experience in matters of the heart or of life in general.
While I'm not totally ready to let go of this conviction, I met
someone whom my 1st "love" doesn't stand close to and can never
compare, but before I proceed, let me backtrack...
A few months after my first love and I split up, I met a wonderful guy
- we had so much in common - similar backrounds. He was five years my
senior and while I was still reveling in my high school days, he had
already finished college and was working full time. I kept ranting
that, "I finally met a smart guy." Everything was good between us but
never spectacular. We are both practical and were in it for the long
haul despite constant fighting, etc. Our sex life was mundane at best
but given that neither one of us had much experience we were fine with
it. Fast forward five years and we did what any logical couple does -
we got married.
I fell in love with my wedding photographer.
We had a connection that happens only in movies and cheesy novels - we
clicked and being together made the world disappear. He is the
complete opposite of everything that I ever wanted or thought I wanted
in a man. He is unnatractive and unmasculine. He never finished
college. He makes me laugh and he made me feel as if I'm the best
thing to happen to the world since sliced bread. He made me feel like
a woman. He was the childhood I missed out on. And the sex, oh the
sex. But as affairs usually go, it got way out of hand and I still
sleep next to my husband dreaming of my photographer every night.
[That's the nutshell and definitely not my best writing as I'm on a
bus typing on my blackberry, but I just can't keep it to myself
anymore and I can't talk to anyone...]