Fear of Flying

Sheryl's post (below) struck a real chord with me. I've always been appallingly careful with my heart, and it's actually been more of a hindrance than a help. I now believe that the more intent you are on shutting yourself off from potential heartbreak, the more likely you are to get fucked over. And the more likely people are to see you as 'hard' or even 'able to deal with it'.

My advice is to be true to yourself. Fall as much or as little as you want to. Trying to protect yourself is only a temporary fix. Eventually, you'll fall just as hard (flat on your face, if love is as much of a cunt as we all think it is).

But isn't it worth a shot?

I've spent far too long promising myself I won't fall, only to find I've grown attached nonetheless; pretending I don't give a shit when I actually do... what's the use? You get equally fucked over in the long run when they break your heart. The only difference is your dignity.

And is your dignity not just a mask to hide behind, something to make you feel better when inside you're devastated?

I suggest we all admit defeat, accept that Love Is A Cunt and embrace its cuntish status, then seek therapy after we crash and burn.

This Dido song seems extremely appropriate:-

"Life For Rent"

I haven't ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking
It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone and live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield
And I won't let it down
While I'm so afraid to fail
That I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive?