Till death do us part
My cousin was diagnosed with cancer just a few months after he had met the perfect girl. For him, she was "the one." They had already discussed getting married, when he found out the bad news. It was a shock for the whole family, because his brother had died a few years earlier of a different type of cancer. Two brothers, two different cancers, how could this be? He wasn't as scared about dying as he was about losing this girl. She was all that mattered. And it seemed to him, that just as life was starting to go his way, he was being fucked over by it in the biggest way.
She stayed with him to his surprise. He got really sick and she was there. At times it became stressful and it caused arguments, but it looked like their love would survive. With her by his side, he made it into remission. And they began planning their wedding.
They had a beautiful wedding. One you dream about. One with white doves and other little girls fantasy. They bought a little house. They started thinking of children. And a year later, he was diagnosed with cancer again. Most people only live between 3 to 5 years with this cancer. It's very rare. And once again, he found himself facing death. This time, though , he wasn't worried about losing his perfect girl, now his wife.
This time, she decided to leave him. She's afraid he's going to die. Yes, he will. We all will. Maybe he will sooner than he had hoped, but she knew that all along. She took that risk right from the start. She promised to love him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. Well, she broke that promise.
And now my cousin is left sick, with a broken heart, and with the knowledge that love is a cunt.
She stayed with him to his surprise. He got really sick and she was there. At times it became stressful and it caused arguments, but it looked like their love would survive. With her by his side, he made it into remission. And they began planning their wedding.
They had a beautiful wedding. One you dream about. One with white doves and other little girls fantasy. They bought a little house. They started thinking of children. And a year later, he was diagnosed with cancer again. Most people only live between 3 to 5 years with this cancer. It's very rare. And once again, he found himself facing death. This time, though , he wasn't worried about losing his perfect girl, now his wife.
This time, she decided to leave him. She's afraid he's going to die. Yes, he will. We all will. Maybe he will sooner than he had hoped, but she knew that all along. She took that risk right from the start. She promised to love him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. Well, she broke that promise.
And now my cousin is left sick, with a broken heart, and with the knowledge that love is a cunt.
posted by pillowfeather | 6:12 pm
I ... I just ... *speechless with horror*
Ok please don't all throw daggers at me and I am totally sorry for the guy but has anyone loked into her brain too? It is possible that his eventual death was too much for her to handle. It is not easy to see someone die slowly and in pain. Then again she could be just plain selfish pleasure seeking cow!
Sorry to intrude.
Your intrusion is welcome - you're absolutely right.
Watching someone you're truly in love with dying is, I think, perhaps, the worst torture that could ever be inflicted. Worse than having to die, and worse than dying alone.
If you're going to die, you're going to die. From the terminally ill that I've spoken to, their impending death lends a certain clarity of thought which means they can cope with anything. Harsh it may sound, but those are their words.
Most of the near-dead, in fact, become so suddenly unselfish that they would offer their loved ones the chance to move on as soon as they find out they're going to die before them. Wisdom and love.
If, however, you're going to stand by and love and give your entire heart to someone you *know* will not be there soon. Well. That's putting yourself on the altar. For the rest of your life. You'll never recover.
It takes literal fucking sainthood to do it.
are you stupid? seriously, are you?
she knew from the start that he was sick. she could have left him then. but no, the stupid selfish cow married him. but marriage means absolutely shit to most people now days. and he was willing then to let go of her, because he knows first hand what it's like to lose someone you love. and he's even more understanding about this all than the rest of my family is. he knows the pain and suffering that comes with watching someone die. and had it been her, he would have stuck by her and loved her all the way through it, not once weakening. that's just it. he loves her, so he let her go. but now he's alone. he's the one that got shit on, not her. that's life you stupid fuck. the vows in marriage are simple in form, but maybe not in practice. maybe you should think hard about them before you make them.
Sorry to have touched your nerves so clumsily.
I think that people that comment negatively on other people's decisions, especially when the situation is so individual and soul-consuming for those people, is a bit messed up. Your actual post wasn't like that, but I think in those two comments you've made *your* psychic take on her mindset and innermost-feelings pretty clear.
I'm not saying either party is wrong. What I am saying is that the situation is massively screwed for both of them and I'm just musing around possible reasons for her actions.
But obviously you've made your mind up. I'm not too fussed either way.
Oh, and fuck you.
i don't doubt that this has all been difficult for her. but seriously, you made a few statements there as if they were fact. and all i'm saying is, she already knew he was sick before she married him. "in sickness and in health, till death do us part." that's a promise she made. and people have to stand by and watch their loved ones dying everyday all over the world. clearly they cannot all be saints. and if they were, well then he'd be one.
oh, and fuck you too
;-)