Blind Date Culture

I am of Sri Lankan background; therefore it was only a matter of time before the following conversation took place:

Mum: "Ah, cunju*... It is hard to find you a wife, you know?"
Me: "What?"
Mum: "We haven't found a suitable girl yet."
Me: "What?"
Mum: "Well, so far they are all either veddy** fat or veddy dark."

* = "darling"
** = "very" with thick Indian accent

Welcome to the superficial and racist world of arranged marriage.

My parents got married without ever having met each other, chosen specifically for each other whilst my mother was in Sri Lanka and my father in England. They have been happily married for almost thirty years and have four children. Out of my entire extended family, this situation is almost invariable in the generation older than mine, and the ones older than that. In every case, there is no trace of familial upset or divorce, with one exception. My father's brother married a white girl, and they got divorced after ten years of marriage and two children.

Now, that might seem to suggest that arranged marriages are all hunky dory and of course I'd want one instead of one based on love is a cunt. Like fuck I do. There's no way I'm getting married to some imported bride that's been trained to be a housebint homemaker ever since she turned pubescent (no offence to my mother, who is a quality housebint).

I think that whatever it is that kept my parents together for so long, is not something that exists for me. I've been brought up here in "the West" all my life, and I have taken on certain traits and philosophies which are different from traditional Sri Lankan culture. I need love before marriage, and even though I'm very much a part of my inherited culture, I just cannot understand the concept of doing it in the reverse order.

So luckily, arranged marriage has moved with the times, and the fact that most Asian parents have brought their kids over here to live and get married.

Now it's more of a global dating agency. A racist, superficial, global dating agency, but a global dating agency nonetheless. You're introduced to girls. That's about it. There's no shock or surprise or sudden realisation you're about to be married to someone you've never met but would throw up on if you ever had to fuck 'em face to face. In fact, it's just the pleasant experience of going out with nice young girls. If you hit it off, you carry on the good work. If not, you cunt her over and move on. It's just the whole dating process without the hassle of pick-up lines or rohypnol.

So as Asian culture moves from "arranged marriage" to "arranged meetings", Western culture also seems to be converging towards the dating agency idea. Everywhere I turn there are speed-dating events, real dating agencies, salsa classes (which, let's face it, is just pretend sex with thirty different girls every week), Essex, etc. ad infinitum.

Could it be that the world is realising that finding someone special is such a mind-bogglingly awesome task that it makes sense to meet and plough through scores of partners at once? Is our time really that limited? Does the net really need to be cast so far and wide?

Perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn't. As far as I'm concerned, to meet a great number of women before taking the plunge of marrying someone can only be a good thing. My only issue is whether or not enough time is being given to each one.

Still, at least I'll get laid.