Apocalypse Now

So, to briefly explain today's gibber (a cunt once named it "JIBber" - which was about as funny as an abortion): Let me lead on from my last post (Understanding understanding) by saying that it's quite common for relationships to end quite far ahead of the actual break-up.

That's a pretty simple statement, but I'll give an example in case you're too flaming fuckheaded to think of one yourself:

i. A goes out with B.
ii. B cheats on A.
iii. A finds out.
iv. B apologises to A. They talk about it and gradually work through the situation.
v. Five years pass.
vi. A dumps B because they're a fucking whore.

It happens. For loads of reasons (i.e. stage (ii) doesn't have to be cheating). Something bad happens, the couple work through it, but the lingering doubts and disillusions eat away at the relationship during stage (v). Stage (vi) doesn't occur because A is weak or because B has made amends weakly; it happens as a direct result of stage (ii) because stage (ii) was the end. Weakness is actually present and masked in stages (iii) through (v), which are just filler so we can hang onto broken love because it looks quite similar to real love. There are lots of contemporary phrases to describe stages (iii) through (v) - being clingy, desperate, needy, a doormat, and so on.

Hey, it happened to me once. I even knew it was happening. See, if there's one thing that I cannot fucking tolerate, it's lying in a relationship. I don't give a leper's shit about lies between friends or enemies or randoms, but lies between people that love each other are an absolute wrong. If you want an extra-curricular rant on that subject, I got pretty hard over my "The Matrix" analogy.

Anyway, I was on the brink of asking my bintfriend a really, really important question, and it was imperative that she tell me the truth first time. I even said to her before I asked; "based on how you answer this question, our entire relationship will change" - and it was true. In the end, she lied, and we split up approx. a year later because I felt I couldn't trust her.

It wasn't because of that incident alone, of course. My chronology above was a little simplified, as it was just an example. But it certainly figured into the reasons why I couldn't be with her, and ever since it had happened it had always been in the back of my mind - subtly unknitting the foundations of our relationship like a pained, leering gremlin made of LIAC.

And if it happened now? I wouldn't end my relationship immediately, based on this experience. That would be stupid. It's always stupid not to be, at least, a little clingy. I think what it comes down to, is whether you can tell when you're going over the top about it. Whether you can tell that what you just experienced was the final fuck-up. And, of course - you can't tell. Ever.

Still... Keep your eyes peeled anyway, or else the end of your relationship might just zip by without you knowing it. It'd be a shame if you assumed the doormat position too late, and didn't manage to prolong your doomed comedy of a relationship for another few years of worthlessness before the house of cards turns into twelve-foot razor-blades and comes crashing down.