Tries, Lies and first lines
I went out with an old friend of mine last night (well yesterday afternoon strictly) for a couple of bottles of nice wine and general misbehaviour. At around 9:30 I met a girl whom I was massively attracted to and have arranged a date for next weekend, which excites me greatly. Obviously this being LIAC no-one wants to hear about the happy times I have had recently and the fact I have a date next weekend, but what might interest you is that we are going horseriding and I am borrowing her friends 16.5 hand horse (I am quite tall so hence the 16.5). The problem ensues with the fact I cannot ride a horse. I am sitting here trying to remember at which point yesterday evening I told the young, very attractive lady I am a confident and able rider, and I am not sure I ever did, but I probably should have stopped the converatation and confessed anyway. However, I did not and allowed the illusion to continue as I think most people would when they are in the mode and the conversation flowing. She is a very nice indeed and she likes me, this much I know as I have her number, address and location of the stable I am supposted to be in next weekend and she was more than enthusiastic about arranging the date. So, I have a date with a girl I am interested in and she is interested in me, but based on a crock of shit, having lied about my skills needed on our first date. I have decided I have 3 appropriate possible options.
1. Don't turn up and make an excuse.
2. Turn up and make an excuse (sore ankle etc) or
3 (the most appealing) turn up and go along with it and make a complete arse of myself.
I will chew my dilemma over for the rest of the week but basically what I am trying to say is that many people meet under false pretense and have to try and move forward from there or worm their way into a different position and hope no one remembers or notices. I am regreting it already but having enormous fun into the bargain.
I wish you all well.
1. Don't turn up and make an excuse.
2. Turn up and make an excuse (sore ankle etc) or
3 (the most appealing) turn up and go along with it and make a complete arse of myself.
I will chew my dilemma over for the rest of the week but basically what I am trying to say is that many people meet under false pretense and have to try and move forward from there or worm their way into a different position and hope no one remembers or notices. I am regreting it already but having enormous fun into the bargain.
I wish you all well.
posted by Anonymous | 10:39 am
That was hilarious..! *wipes tear from eye* I think you should go with option 4 - take the rest of the time off work (family emergency, mother dying) and desperately learn to ride a massive 16.5 hand bastard of a horse.
Further strategy: turn up, plead injury (tell her you've pulled your stifle-joint or your withers are playing up), take her off for refreshment somewhere and talk knowledgeably about things equine.
Read the following between now and date:
Complete works of Thelwell (disgustingly twee horsey cartoonist).
Past year's Horse and Hound
Mackenzie and Selby's Hunter Chasers and Point-to-Pointers.
This will buy you time. But I endorse JiB's point: you must learn to ride, and will discover the considerable erotic power of these animals (excuse me, I've been at the D H Lawrence again)
Oh yes and this one:
Rush, Bonnie
Equine respiratory diseases
Oxford: Blackwell Science, 2004
Diagnose and cure her mount's epistaxis and she'll be putty in your hands.
I like option #3.
Besides, if you make an ass of yourself and she isn't pleased, you'll have something else to write about on here : p
Maybe she'll have a sense of humour. Or maybe you can read up a little bit about horses prior to the date so, in case nothing goes horribly wrong, you won't sound like a complete idiot as well as riding like one!
Since this is LIAC, I guess it would be wrong of me to wish you good luck on the date...
I'm rather hoping that you fall off the horse and get accidentally trampled by hers. That's how things usually turn out, best get it out of the way now.