Pain Barrier

I once met this dude that bit his thumb every time he sustained a minor injury. Yep. If he stubbed his toe on a table, he'd bite his thumb. If he got a paper cut, he'd bite his thumb. If a wasp stung him in the neck, he'd bite his thumb (before hammering the fucking wasp with a massive hardback book, because there is absolutely no point in those evil little cunts existing or ever having existed in the first place).

Anyway - I said to him, after he'd had his foot stepped on by a fat bastard:

"What's up with biting your thumb?"
"What? I always do this when I'm in pain."
"But why?"
"Well, it's like, it makes the other pain go away."
"Oh?"
"Yeah... Like... I focus on the pain of biting my thumb, rather than the pain elsewhere."
"How the hell does that help? You're fucking up your thumb!"
"It's only a thumb."
"True."

He basically felt the more immediate, stronger pain in his thumb more than the pain in the other parts of his body. The guy's insane, right? Not quite; in fact, we all do this. It's the same reason we rub our toe after stubbing it. The rubbing, if we do it hard enough, will override the sensation of pain in your brain. When you rub the area that some tiny motherfucker of a wasp stung because the sole purpose of all wasps is to sting everyfuckingthing, you're just causing your nerves to conduct a more immediate sensation that takes the place of the pain and dulls it.

Okay, so it's not quite as extreme as randomly chewing your damned thumb every time a baseball hits you in the face, but I'm sure you know what I mean and understand the phenomenon I'm getting at.

Now hold that thought - and I mean really hold it, because I'm about to make you keep that thought and another thought in your head at once. It'll be a slightly weird feeling, but bear with it.

See, I hate my ex. That's normal, right? I think she's a freakishly good example of a freak, and I have little to no idea of why society ever allowed her out of the hospital she was born in, let alone why I went out with her. And so on...

But the ex before her - although I have some misgivings about - I don't actually hate. In fact, I don't really remember any of her bad points at all. I mainly remember her good points, and I miss her, as a friend. I wish I hadn't totally written off all communication with her way back when, whilst I was going out with my current ex.

See, because when I was with my current ex, I despised the ex before her. And when I was with the ex before her, I despised the ex even before her. This is getting complicated, but I'm basically saying that I always seem to loathe my immediate ex, whilst treating all the ex's before her with a certain air of nostalgia and warm regard. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I'm not sure if anybody else does this, hence my introductory analogy. It's precisely like the immediate pain of my last break-up makes the pain of the one before it almost go away. So, suddenly, I see my past relationships much more objectively and pleasantly, and far too sodding late.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting. Maybe you don't. Screw you.