A tentative jab into the unknown
...because I don't know why it should still bother me. I really don't. I remember reading a random person's blog once about how she paid the best revenge upon her ex-fiancee by shining at a party they both attended. As much as I belatedly rooted for her, the whole thing really was so juvenile. The best revenge would have been not to care at all what he thought and truly not even being aware of his discomfort, his existence.
Indifference is the darkest revenge of all, isn't it? And yet, I can't manage it either, to be honest. After this last visit to my college town, there's very little reason left for me to return again. Hopefully this will finally stop me from checking up on the latest social developments between my less-close circle of friends there. I deliberately introduced myself to my ex's current girlfriend and chatted with her as they sat together to make a point about knowing about them and being fine with it. I found it laughable that anyone would still think I would mind, after more than three years.
And yet, if I really don't care, then why would I make it a point to show I don't? To set the record straight, I was the one who broke up with him. Reason being he was way too possessive and refuse to hear me out about how we were completely incompatible. In the following years, everything I've said about us has been confirmed by mutual friends and by just how things turned out. So maybe my annoyance is only at how he so imperceptibly continues the drama.
More on that later. Like Tree, I joined this blog to vent without involving any party connected with the actual neurosis. Most of what I say probably makes no sense to strangers. Read at own boredom.
Indifference is the darkest revenge of all, isn't it? And yet, I can't manage it either, to be honest. After this last visit to my college town, there's very little reason left for me to return again. Hopefully this will finally stop me from checking up on the latest social developments between my less-close circle of friends there. I deliberately introduced myself to my ex's current girlfriend and chatted with her as they sat together to make a point about knowing about them and being fine with it. I found it laughable that anyone would still think I would mind, after more than three years.
And yet, if I really don't care, then why would I make it a point to show I don't? To set the record straight, I was the one who broke up with him. Reason being he was way too possessive and refuse to hear me out about how we were completely incompatible. In the following years, everything I've said about us has been confirmed by mutual friends and by just how things turned out. So maybe my annoyance is only at how he so imperceptibly continues the drama.
More on that later. Like Tree, I joined this blog to vent without involving any party connected with the actual neurosis. Most of what I say probably makes no sense to strangers. Read at own boredom.
posted by Anonymous | 1:17 pm
You make perfect sense, actually. Indifference is the opposite to love. Neuroses. Venting harmlessly. I like it.
And wow, two new folks in one day. Must be the season for fuck-up.
Indifference can sting more than anything. I've maintained a vow of silence toward one ex-boyfriend for five years now because he got a little wacky and creepy. I deprived him of closure, contact, communication...anything that would satisfy his longing to be engaged with me on some level. I know through the grapevine that to this very day he's throwing up bad poetry on his blog, romanticizing about some idealized version of me, the Lost Love that Got Away. He even quotes my first album and thinks it was all written about him.
The best revenge is a steel cold indifference, letting them see you consumed by a life that does not acknowledge their existence in any way, shape, or form. Makes me warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.
I neglected to note that my wall of indifference was only possible because I did not love him anymore, if I ever did at all, and he was getting fucking creepy. He had lost his ability to provoke my heart into any state of love. I, on the other hand, was to him a goddess incarnate, his holy Venus, and his inability to comunicate with me nearly destroyed him. He was a psychotic angry fuck, so it was lovely to behold from afar, hearing reports from mutual acquaintances that he was still posting about me in very bizarre and cuntly ways.
I tried displaying a wall of indifference to my current source of cuntification, but to no avail. Really loving someone fucks the plan all up. *sigh*
YoungElliot: Esotericism is an abundant material here in LIAC-space, though yes, I also think that heartbreak throws us more into standard modes of thinking. As opposed to the fucking insanity that loved up pricks cough up like phlegm-candy.
Tree: There are few greater pleasures than observing a weird fucker go insane over your indifference via multiple degrees of contact. Unfortunately, yep, the whole indifference thing is scuppered under the shadow of love. Unless you're very, very good at acting.
Depends on how you're annoyed.
Score one for a good actor.
Or that.
Indifference is the darkest revenge of all, isn't it>
I agree with you. Although I myself was in the place of shining at a party back in the Fall. My main thing was, I had a blast, danced my heart away with a bunch of people...including a fellow who was easily a foot taller than him...
Recently was at a camping event (I vend) where he was at...and we came face-to-face and I just turned away and continued talking to someone else.
It's only been 6 1/2 months since I moved, so the wounds still sting. But I'm getting better all the time.
My usual saying is "Living Well is the Best Revenge."
Of course, the worst part of affecting indifference is when it facilitates them becoming actually indifferent to you. Then you're screwed.
So as usual: Lose-lose, welcome to Hell.