History
As mentioned in my last post (my first as well), I have a long history of failure in the love department. In fact, one that has been completely void, except for a few months of partial pleasure around 1980 before we got so bored with each other neither had anything to say any more. So all I can speak of is my history, a 30 plus year minefield of disasters and rejection. It can't be me, as there have been as many women who wanted me as vice versa, just rarely coincided.
The few who did, began with a girl on a cruise when I was 14. As it went, I'd seen an angelic being as we boarded, and as luck (?) would have it, as soon as I sat down with Christine, a girl came up and said 'My friend likes you'- and guess who, it was the angelic being from Glasgow. I walked off and left Christine sitting there like a take-away container, and managed to last almost 24 hours with Georgia before I'd fucked her off completely. Being too embarrassed to return to poor Christine, I worked my way through a couple of others, one good, one not so good, before being dropped by both in the end when I got home. But school cruises sure pack a lot of action into a short time, and left me with two when I returned home as well.
Anyway, run ahead ten years, and a friend of mine had introduced me to a musician in his group from Farnborough, where Christine, also a musician came from, and of course in a small town like that everyone with a similar interest is bound to know each other. So I rang her up, and amazingly she remembered everything as clearly as I did, and forgave me, and was still interested. Being still relatively young, I was still very picky, and decided the combination of a 40 mile trip and the fact she still sounded as soppy as she did ten years ago, though nice still put me off. Mea Culpa. She ended up running her own financial company and is married and living in South Africa. That was only the second one I buggered up through inexperience, the other being my first girlfriend I dumped after two weeks for being boring, tried to get back the next day but she never wanted to speak to me again.
Vivienne was the only one who lasted a little time, just long enough for me to a) realise she wasn't also soppy but quite intelligent and so understanding she was one of the rare people I could say anything I like to and not be embarrassed or judged by her and b) get her to agree to going 'further than we had', the next time I saw her. As it turned out, this never happened. I had got her home pretty late, and that gave her mother the perfect excuse to forbid her seeing me again. She proved her intelligence, as we still often bumped into each other, though she always had another boyfriend every time. Her A level results were a lot better than mine, and she ended up as an accountant. After her I whizzed through a series of disco, party and holiday pickups, lasting about ten years, but though a few appealed to me I never appealed to them once they'd been out with me for a month or two. No idea why to this day, as I had to get rid of just as many I gave a chance to but didn't make the grade.
It's still a mystery, as by 25 when I was free of college studies and able to jump full time into looking, there was no one there. Either old and ugly faces, who I'd seen ever since I joined the scene, or even worse, chatting someone up to find she had a boyfriend hiding in the background or at home, or in at least one case, was married. I'd missed the fucking boat! Vivienne set the mould I was to use ever since to know what I was looking for, and had she been allowed to stay with me there was no reason for either of us to leave. We'd established the relationship completely in two months, both been unfaithful on holiday, come back to and forgiven each other, and as I said, were about to take it to the next stage when it was cut off like James Dean or Marc Bolan, killed at the start of a promising career.
There are always those times after a long gap where I start to forget what I'm missing, but I know it'll be OK if it everdoes happen. I have never been without sex, thank God, but hardly ever with anyone I fancy. It's like being on desert rations for 30 years when you could be eating gourmet food. I've recently heard a couple of men say 'What's the difference between women, they're all made the same'. The answer is simple. If you do the same thing with each, you get a different reaction. It's inbuilt and automatic, and in my experience if it's there will usually persist indefinitely. So there it is, the closest times I got to love which was returned. Four, and not since 1980. Bitter, twisted and cynical. Who wouldn't be?
The few who did, began with a girl on a cruise when I was 14. As it went, I'd seen an angelic being as we boarded, and as luck (?) would have it, as soon as I sat down with Christine, a girl came up and said 'My friend likes you'- and guess who, it was the angelic being from Glasgow. I walked off and left Christine sitting there like a take-away container, and managed to last almost 24 hours with Georgia before I'd fucked her off completely. Being too embarrassed to return to poor Christine, I worked my way through a couple of others, one good, one not so good, before being dropped by both in the end when I got home. But school cruises sure pack a lot of action into a short time, and left me with two when I returned home as well.
Anyway, run ahead ten years, and a friend of mine had introduced me to a musician in his group from Farnborough, where Christine, also a musician came from, and of course in a small town like that everyone with a similar interest is bound to know each other. So I rang her up, and amazingly she remembered everything as clearly as I did, and forgave me, and was still interested. Being still relatively young, I was still very picky, and decided the combination of a 40 mile trip and the fact she still sounded as soppy as she did ten years ago, though nice still put me off. Mea Culpa. She ended up running her own financial company and is married and living in South Africa. That was only the second one I buggered up through inexperience, the other being my first girlfriend I dumped after two weeks for being boring, tried to get back the next day but she never wanted to speak to me again.
Vivienne was the only one who lasted a little time, just long enough for me to a) realise she wasn't also soppy but quite intelligent and so understanding she was one of the rare people I could say anything I like to and not be embarrassed or judged by her and b) get her to agree to going 'further than we had', the next time I saw her. As it turned out, this never happened. I had got her home pretty late, and that gave her mother the perfect excuse to forbid her seeing me again. She proved her intelligence, as we still often bumped into each other, though she always had another boyfriend every time. Her A level results were a lot better than mine, and she ended up as an accountant. After her I whizzed through a series of disco, party and holiday pickups, lasting about ten years, but though a few appealed to me I never appealed to them once they'd been out with me for a month or two. No idea why to this day, as I had to get rid of just as many I gave a chance to but didn't make the grade.
It's still a mystery, as by 25 when I was free of college studies and able to jump full time into looking, there was no one there. Either old and ugly faces, who I'd seen ever since I joined the scene, or even worse, chatting someone up to find she had a boyfriend hiding in the background or at home, or in at least one case, was married. I'd missed the fucking boat! Vivienne set the mould I was to use ever since to know what I was looking for, and had she been allowed to stay with me there was no reason for either of us to leave. We'd established the relationship completely in two months, both been unfaithful on holiday, come back to and forgiven each other, and as I said, were about to take it to the next stage when it was cut off like James Dean or Marc Bolan, killed at the start of a promising career.
There are always those times after a long gap where I start to forget what I'm missing, but I know it'll be OK if it everdoes happen. I have never been without sex, thank God, but hardly ever with anyone I fancy. It's like being on desert rations for 30 years when you could be eating gourmet food. I've recently heard a couple of men say 'What's the difference between women, they're all made the same'. The answer is simple. If you do the same thing with each, you get a different reaction. It's inbuilt and automatic, and in my experience if it's there will usually persist indefinitely. So there it is, the closest times I got to love which was returned. Four, and not since 1980. Bitter, twisted and cynical. Who wouldn't be?
posted by David | 7:51 pm
It's easier to become cynical and want everyone to fall to your own level, but each truth can only relate to your own experiences. So as it is possible for not only something to exist, but to last, then it follows there are some who have made it last, but then of course lose it when one dies.
But I would even be realtively content to have the 'whole lot' just for maybe a week if it was good enough, and then I'd know I'd 'been there'. I'm not even that sure if with any of those four I even got all the elements required together. You've made me think.
Ah, I see you are off and running about how you cannot understand why woment don't want you. Well, I have to say, that of course no one would want a man, or one that thinks he is, who does not work, but would rather collect public benefits and then has the balls to complain about how he doesn't like to work and doesn't think that he should have to....David would rather everyone else pay for him. Isn't that right Whack job..oops I mean David.
So being the complete arse that you are David, WHY would any woman that has a reasonable amount of brain cells working want you?