"Like I said; fare well"
It's true that you don't miss the water until it's gone, likewise you don't understand what a huge part of your life the Significant Other is until they are gone. I didn't even see him that often, but I've found that I must have thought about him a lot. Now he's gone I find myself not knowing what to think about.
It's not even that I can't make decisions without his approval, I never sought his approval for anything. It's that I have nothing to make decisions about. There is just a void in my head. A void that seems chaotic, though, contractictory (sp?) as that may be.
A void that can't be filled or ignored. It doesn't even formulate itself into structured thought. It doesn't tell me anything. It just rests there in my head and won't piss off.
I'll be interested to know what it turns into, when it evolves into whatever it becomes. Perhaps it will become anger, and then I could make posts that contain more crude language.
And due to the lack of the "C" word in here, I would like to add that: love is, quite truly, a cunt.
It's not even that I can't make decisions without his approval, I never sought his approval for anything. It's that I have nothing to make decisions about. There is just a void in my head. A void that seems chaotic, though, contractictory (sp?) as that may be.
A void that can't be filled or ignored. It doesn't even formulate itself into structured thought. It doesn't tell me anything. It just rests there in my head and won't piss off.
I'll be interested to know what it turns into, when it evolves into whatever it becomes. Perhaps it will become anger, and then I could make posts that contain more crude language.
And due to the lack of the "C" word in here, I would like to add that: love is, quite truly, a cunt.
posted by eriu | 12:20 am
Is the void there for not having HIM in the head or not having SOMEONE in there?
I shudder with the thought that I probably have not realised how much I will miss my water until it's gone. A good reminder.
Not having him there. I anticipated the end of whatever we had; Hell, I even wanted it to end most of the time, but when the blow actually came it still left its mark.
I guess you can't prepare yourself for the loss, no matter how much you try.
"Is the void there for not having HIM in the head or not having SOMEONE in there?"
Eriu's being astute by realising it's him and not just "someone" that's missing. I think too many people fall into the trap that it could just be someone missing and they try and fill that gap with the ubiquitous rebound relationship. Which never works, because it's something specific you miss, not just company.
The sad thing is that even when you fall in love with the next person there is still an ex-shaped gap in you; your newfound love still isn't going to fill it precisely.
I think the trick is to make the gap evermore trivial through the introduction of people and things which are overwhelmingly more important to you than your ex ever was. I mean let's face it, they were a fucking cackhead right? Right.
Call it "personal evolution".
But now I have no cackhead to think about! JiB will you make me feel crap and worthless please? It'll make me feel better <3.
Do not tempt me, Frodo.
JIB, I am completely disgusted with you. Gross.
I try to eliminate that ex filled gap by increasing the inches. It makes for an interesting treasure hunt, that keeps my mind away from the gap.
:D