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Saturday, February 24, 2007

She stinks for me

We were well past saying I love you anymore. We both knew we’d said it to previous lovers and even after the first month of using it we realised we’d killed off those notorious three words if not the feeling. We’d only started saying it to get a stamp on our feelings, but the words themselves quickly became stale and vapid. I’d say that her checking how I liked my coffee showed more love than saying ‘I love you.’ I’d been with lovers who’d told me they loved me all too often, but had never cared about the quantity of milk in my morning drink.

We also knew neither of us were ones for poetry. Sure, we tried that sometimes early on too – spilling out clumsy phrases that we’d taken from a book or film that had come our way: ‘you’re everything to me’ and ‘you complete me – without you I am nothing.’ – and several other clichés of that nature. We probably rattled through a couple of dozen of those before we started taking the piss out of them. Again, I knew she loved me more when she was sarcastic with and acting all fake when saying these things.

We got to a stage where we ran out though. Sure, actions show love and all that – we know that from love and from crap soul songs, but we still wanted words for it. I’d say it took us another month or two until we found how. I say we found how – she introduced it:

‘My cunt fucking stinks.’
‘Does it? Sorry, what did you just say?’
‘It stinks like fuck of your cock.’
‘Ha! Wow! How is that darling? We haven’t done it for a couple of days?’
‘It’s sending out a search-stench – to check it’s still there. Calling it for more fucking and man fat.’
I jumped her with a comedy pirate’s laugh and I want to say we fucked like it was our last – but that’s a cheap description. It was nothing like our last – just our best. Love made whole from the nostril-flaring hardness of flesh, the smell called ‘funk’ and our sweat, juices and cum on and in each other.

The tone was set. We'd found a dialect which worked for us.

Whispers in the supermarket by the fruit.
‘I’m gonna bend you over and fuck you in the ass. You’re gonna be the first woman to have girl-cum shoot out of your fucking shithole.’
‘I’ve already been doing that one with you, you dirty, fucking animal.’

Halfway through watching some rubbish on TV:
‘Why don’t you wank that cock hard at shove it in my mouth you lazy cunt?’
‘Well, flick me some ripe fucking pussy lips open and I will.’

I could go on, but will leave anymore up to you. All I can say is that I’d never been more in love, because this is where failed attempts at love had taken me. I’d say it was the same for her too, but we were talking love like this now – so I could never really ask.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow!!!! if i could get a guy to talk to me like that!!! most get frightened and give weird looks! sigh... the language of love...

February 24, 2007 5:32 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*whew* Glad me and the Mister aren't the only ones that talk like that at the supermarket ;]

February 24, 2007 6:49 pm  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

Just a London Girl - I'm, er, taken, but I have a couple of filthy single mates in London - not sure I want to be responsible for introducing them to anyone.

Red - I reckon supermarkets are best place for it - so much suggestion.

reverend tong - thanks - it was menat to be at least that.

February 25, 2007 2:55 am  
Blogger sunkissed said...

very true. saying "i love you" has been abused so bad it has lost it's true meaning.finding your own secret language to make your partner feel loved is better. ;P

February 25, 2007 4:43 am  
Blogger Echo said...

A laugh and a half! thanks

February 25, 2007 7:11 am  
Blogger Russell CJ Duffy said...

i used to work with a girl like that. a girl that used that kinda tone. told me she liked a cock inside the size of my forearm.
hmmmm.
bawdy is right mate. bloody funny too!

February 26, 2007 9:11 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice. Very nice.
And I never post a comment if I don't really think so.

February 27, 2007 3:13 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really really really really really really really really like this post. I REALLY REALLY DO. I hope you believe me.

Not only was it a great post, but it was funny too!

Really glad he didn't have to roll out the same shock tactics again
because like, that woulda been REALLY REALLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

February 27, 2007 2:59 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant! I love talking like that (not that I've done it for a few years). It's so wrong, but it;s such a turn-on, and you can be more inventive.

February 27, 2007 3:38 pm  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

g.knotee - I genuinely think that some filthy talking can do the job more than the original cliche.

echo - cheers

cj - no workplace is right without such people.

veronica - thank you very much.

another one of my mates - ha - would like to know which one of my 'mates' you are - it's just a bit of comedy if nothing more - but there's more truth in it than there isn't.

looby - more ways to describing fucking than there is 'i love you'

February 27, 2007 4:02 pm  
Blogger Puck said...

No, you’re not CB.

Ruksak, If only you'd just say "yeah we say that to each other because the ways in which we can express emotion have degraded to the point of unimaginative rememberings from porn flicks, and that turns us on, and that's all we want, so yo it's all good".

Your first posts were okay, this is just settling for something you thought was a winner (all the shock-sex-talk). And come on couldn't we all write about that when we were fiffuckingteen?

What does the post even mean. People are commenting that that's a great way to tell someone you love them (most of them, I note, people who spend their time writing about sex). But as I see it, it's a great way to tell someone you like having sex with them and no longer care about the restraint involved in intriguing them in the process anymore. I think the 'love' (tenderness) got lost, as it always does, and you're back to the base, raw side of doing the beast with two backs minus magic.

If the means to an end was working for you both then fair enough. LIAC love is the bit before; enforced restraint (through situational necessity) or hopelessness or fear or being hooked on intrigue to the point of our own detriment. Not getting a cheaper ‘fix’, with all the planning, trepidation and grace of a hook-a-duck side stall.

March 01, 2007 8:56 am  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

Corpse Bride and Puck - that's absolutely fair enough with me. The post only had the meaning which Puck noted in his first paragraph very astutely - nothing more. It's not intended as an in-depth analysis of love, nor is it particularly based in much truth. I have been in relationships where reverting to this kind of language was an occasional comedic moment, and furthermore, an affirmation that we were close enough to be able to get away with that kind of talk.

Other than that the post was intended perhaps to amuse. I am a firm believer that 'shock' ,as you call it, is a good tool for humour - albeit an admittedly simple one. And, lets face it this site is named 'love is a cunt' - which personally appeals to my rather anglo-saxon sense of poetics.

However, as a way to talk about love it's an option. There are many and to say this is not one of them would be elitist and prescriptive. Love does not abide such linguistic rulings - not to say it doesn't abide some, but that's another story.

For what it's worth I think my previous posts were more poignant - no difficult feat since I'll be the first to admit that poignancy isn't even close to an accollade this post would merit.

Anyway, I genuinely appreciate your thoughts and you've made me start to think about next time I post. Love comes in many shapes and sizes though - it can be a dewy, half-open rose on a spring morning, it can be a cunt and it can be a laugh. Mainly, I just thought I'd post something/anything.

March 01, 2007 11:26 am  

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