Illegible's Sexual History Part 1: Losing My Virginity
I was seventeen when I lost my virginity, and before that I was completely innocent, aside from my best friend's brother getting my tits out at a party the summer I left school. My parents thought my teenage years were far less pure than they actually were; they imposed curfews to prevent me from fucking, when in reality, what was preventing me from fucking was myself.
To be fair, my parents probably had every right to worry. I was dating a 24 year old when I was 15, but what they didn't know was that I dumped him when he tried to put his hand up my top, and in fact I was quite probably the most frigid little madam in the entire county. The only reason I saw a male appendage before the age of seventeen was because my friends used to expose a guy against his will in the classroom, for all to point and stare. If only they knew!!
I don't know quite what happened, but when it finally did come around to it, I thought absolutely nothing of losing my virginity. This is how it happened...
My friends and I used to go to Superbowl every weekend and get drunk and dance on the stage (forgive us, for we were young). One night in August 1997, we met some guys from college, and subsequently took them back to mine for an en masse sleepover. Craig ushered me up to my bedroom and showed me his tattoo. The sad thing was, I thought he was quite literally showing me his tattoo. So I continued talking about my CD collection and went back downstairs to join in the communal fun.
I received a phonecall the following week, asking if I'd like to go out sometime. So we went to a couple of drinking venues, bowling (again), and then to McDonalds and 'back to his'. Again, rather stupidly, I honestly did think we were just getting McDonalds and watching MTV. Looking back, I was clearly a complete dumbass.
Kissing. "Shit, he's taken my top off". Oops, this is further than I've ever gone before, but hey, quite amusing anyway. Plus one of my friends was away at venture camp and had called saying she'd given someone a blow job. It inspired me. "You suck my dick, then we'll have sex, yeah?" Oh you charmer you.
'Having sex, yeah' proved more difficult than I'd imagined. About ten different positions. I drew diagrams of them all for my friends' education in the library the next day.
And yes, I bled... like a bitch.
He drove me home... I couldn't speak to him all the way home, I was far too embarrassed. I didn't care that I'd lost my virginity, apart from anything I was excited about the whole thing. But when I got home, I was sure my father could see it in my eyes.
I waited for him to call me, but he never did. All summer. Bastard. Although I talked about it with my friends, it didn't actually upset me.
Two weeks later, I shagged someone else in a library porch. Classy.
And when I got back to college, it emerged that he'd got back with his ex. So, my first experience proved that love is a cunt. Not that there was any kind of love involved, but the theory remains nonetheless.
But a few weeks later I started dating the next guy. Which is a whole new story... to be continued.
To be fair, my parents probably had every right to worry. I was dating a 24 year old when I was 15, but what they didn't know was that I dumped him when he tried to put his hand up my top, and in fact I was quite probably the most frigid little madam in the entire county. The only reason I saw a male appendage before the age of seventeen was because my friends used to expose a guy against his will in the classroom, for all to point and stare. If only they knew!!
I don't know quite what happened, but when it finally did come around to it, I thought absolutely nothing of losing my virginity. This is how it happened...
My friends and I used to go to Superbowl every weekend and get drunk and dance on the stage (forgive us, for we were young). One night in August 1997, we met some guys from college, and subsequently took them back to mine for an en masse sleepover. Craig ushered me up to my bedroom and showed me his tattoo. The sad thing was, I thought he was quite literally showing me his tattoo. So I continued talking about my CD collection and went back downstairs to join in the communal fun.
I received a phonecall the following week, asking if I'd like to go out sometime. So we went to a couple of drinking venues, bowling (again), and then to McDonalds and 'back to his'. Again, rather stupidly, I honestly did think we were just getting McDonalds and watching MTV. Looking back, I was clearly a complete dumbass.
Kissing. "Shit, he's taken my top off". Oops, this is further than I've ever gone before, but hey, quite amusing anyway. Plus one of my friends was away at venture camp and had called saying she'd given someone a blow job. It inspired me. "You suck my dick, then we'll have sex, yeah?" Oh you charmer you.
'Having sex, yeah' proved more difficult than I'd imagined. About ten different positions. I drew diagrams of them all for my friends' education in the library the next day.
And yes, I bled... like a bitch.
He drove me home... I couldn't speak to him all the way home, I was far too embarrassed. I didn't care that I'd lost my virginity, apart from anything I was excited about the whole thing. But when I got home, I was sure my father could see it in my eyes.
I waited for him to call me, but he never did. All summer. Bastard. Although I talked about it with my friends, it didn't actually upset me.
Two weeks later, I shagged someone else in a library porch. Classy.
And when I got back to college, it emerged that he'd got back with his ex. So, my first experience proved that love is a cunt. Not that there was any kind of love involved, but the theory remains nonetheless.
But a few weeks later I started dating the next guy. Which is a whole new story... to be continued.
posted by A Girl Like Me | 9:07 pm
I definitely have a guard. Those who know me will tell you. Unfortunately sometimes "I let my guard down in a momentary lapse of emotion". But I'm never shocked.
My first experience of love was far more soul-destroying than losing my virginity! But that's for another post...
There is a show on American TV, where a bunch of silly women sit together in a tope room and discuss how they lost their virginity.
I think you should write to them.
I can't say that losing one's virginity is a very grand thing. I lost mine to someone that I loved, in the basement of a funeral parlor, at his grandfather's funeral.
Fortunately for me, it was in a bathroom and I was wearing a skirt so the insane mess that followed was a quick clean up of a warm cloth over a cock and a cotton plug up my pussy.
Ain't Sex Grand?