Love is Not a Cunt
I fucking wish love were a cunt. A cunt is a friendly and easy-to-please organ, one I am quite fond of, and if I do say so myself I'm pretty good at keeping a cunt happy. Love is much more complicated than a cunt. A cunt has no brain, while love has at least two.
Love is difficult to achieve and maintain, and if the other party isn't up to it, it can be more trouble than it's worth, but when it's good, it's the best thing there is.
I love love very much.
Love is difficult to achieve and maintain, and if the other party isn't up to it, it can be more trouble than it's worth, but when it's good, it's the best thing there is.
I love love very much.
posted by john_m_burt | 8:34 pm
First of all, never think you're capable of keeping a cunt happy. If you think that you are, it's likely that you're not.
Secondly, you have in effect listed various reasons why love IS a cunt, in justifying why it is 'not'.
1. Complication.
2. Non-mutuality.
3. Difficulty.
4. Trouble.
When it's good it's good - but unfortunately it never lasts, and you only live to regret it.
I've never regretted a decision made by my cunt; I have however regretted lots of decisions in the name of love.
A cunt with no brain, you say. Now there is something to prove. A cunt is useless without a brain, as it commands wetness and then the cunt gets wet; it orders for spasms, and then the cunt pulsates with orgasm; it demands attention, and any attention-hungry cunt finds a way to get satisfied. Alternatively, if you want to look at it this way, a cunt is a person. I am a cunt and I have a brain, so now what Mr. Easy-To-Please? On a side note, I must say that few men know how to satisfy a cunt. In all my years, with all the dicks I've encountered, only two men stand out in my mind as having the skills necessary to leave me tired, happy, and fulfilled. Both were in their early 50s and both cited a lot of trial and error throughout the decades of their sexual lives.
However, back to the brain—"A cunt has no brain, while love has at least two." Please tell me, are you referring to a dick’s brain, which must decide between intellect and horniness, as it cannot fully operate both at the same time, as the counterpart in this duo of wits? A dick’s brain is hardly a whole when sexually excited. However, I can only conclude that if a cunt has no brain then neither does a dick, and that would render us all mindless drones completely incapable of conjuring such a thing as love (among other things). Closer to home, let me ask, are you a dick with no brain?
Surprisingly, though hating this admittance of having something in common, I love love too. However, when one is in love with a married 50-year-old man whose wife is suffering from cancer, one can only conclude that love is a dried-up, shrunken cunt with a stunted and eternally soft dick as its life partner.
Long straw? Fucking A right I drew the long straw! I'm three weeks away from my 20th anniversary, kiddo, and she picked me over the twelve inch python her ex was offering.
But okay, it doesn't always work out that way. And yes, love can make you crazy when it doesn't go right -- or even sometimes when it does go right. But when it goes right, it's very right indeed.
Humans were made for love, just as we were made for tool use and running long distances. We're wired for it, plumbed for it, preprogrammed to seek it out.
As for love having two brains, I was referring to the brains inside the heads of the two (or more) people in the relationship. Their cock and cunt (or two cocks, or two cunts, or one cunt and two cocks, whatever the lovers should happen to have) are brainless (perhaps I should better say without consciousness), and could play merrily together indefinitely if those pesky brains didn't get in the way.
I like you John. You're just the sort of smug, self-serving & well-spoken guy that I'd want to see giving the case for defence. Is the fact that you're posting here some sort of sick way of celebrating your 20th anniversary?
I have to agree with Juliet Is Bleeding here, welcome John - you have taken all our abuse and still rationalised the situation. Clearly I still don't agree with you though...
I'm posting here because I was invited to, and I suppose because I enjoy a challenge. You kids threw down the gauntlet, and I put on latex gloves and picked it up.