Self psychoanalysis
An excellent post, Doctah Kay. Summed it all up marvellously. The most cuntish part of the trouble with love is that when you're in love, you think it's amazing, and can fall in love with the very idea of being in love quite alarmingly. When you're not in love, you think it's a cunt.
They say 'love is blind', and that's actually a serious flaw. The inability to analyse a situation with any form of sense or reason is one of the most hideous inflictions caused by love; especially if you're a friend watching someone getting fucked over by the second and unable to convince them that, in fact, the person they're head over heels with is an absolute cunt, and the entire basis of the relationship is fundamentally fucked.
I suppose of the moral of the story is live and let live. I've lived through it all myself - name the circumstance, I've been there. That's actually quite a sad thing to be able to say at the age of 24, but in fact my mum says that so far, I've lived my life the wrong way round, that I "wasted the best years of my life acting as if I was married". It's probably true. But the point is that everyone has to learn by their own mistakes.
I'd like to be naive as I once was and still falling hopelessly into situations without the cynicism, mistrust and downright misogyny that I invariably feel. I'd also love to be more like my friend E, who will fight for her cause until the bitter end when every ounce of hope is gone; however, I've been there, and I won't go there again.
Accepting situations and not fighting for what you want gets you nowhere, but I don't believe begging gets you far in the long term either. I am a firm believer that holding onto some form of dignity is always the best bet. And even in the throes of absolute obsession, I'll refuse to divulge any form of feelings, because quite frankly I wish they didn't exist.
They say 'love is blind', and that's actually a serious flaw. The inability to analyse a situation with any form of sense or reason is one of the most hideous inflictions caused by love; especially if you're a friend watching someone getting fucked over by the second and unable to convince them that, in fact, the person they're head over heels with is an absolute cunt, and the entire basis of the relationship is fundamentally fucked.
I suppose of the moral of the story is live and let live. I've lived through it all myself - name the circumstance, I've been there. That's actually quite a sad thing to be able to say at the age of 24, but in fact my mum says that so far, I've lived my life the wrong way round, that I "wasted the best years of my life acting as if I was married". It's probably true. But the point is that everyone has to learn by their own mistakes.
I'd like to be naive as I once was and still falling hopelessly into situations without the cynicism, mistrust and downright misogyny that I invariably feel. I'd also love to be more like my friend E, who will fight for her cause until the bitter end when every ounce of hope is gone; however, I've been there, and I won't go there again.
Accepting situations and not fighting for what you want gets you nowhere, but I don't believe begging gets you far in the long term either. I am a firm believer that holding onto some form of dignity is always the best bet. And even in the throes of absolute obsession, I'll refuse to divulge any form of feelings, because quite frankly I wish they didn't exist.
posted by A Girl Like Me | 8:32 pm
