Love, love, love..
As this is my first post in this blog, I would first like to thank {name removed} for inviting me to this group. I've been reading your posts and I find everything actually quite interesting.
For some people, I guess love is a cunt. For others, probably not. For me, though, I'm not really quite sure what to make of it at the moment.
Love is love. And I guess I do love Love. But at the same time, for now anyway, I have had it with falling in love -- falling in love and having my heart broken, over and over again!
I used to have this notion that when I fall in love, that would be it! And it will be everything I have ever dreamed of -- everything that I have read about in books and seen in those silly romantic movies that I love to watch! Now, after four serious relationships and several flings, I would have to say that at one point, love was everything I imagined it to be, and even so much more than that. And yet, at times, it had also been nothing at all like how I have believed it to be! And after everything that I have been through with love, experience has definitely taught me to become a realist! Love, after all, is a crazy thing -- it's simple yet complicated, sweet with a sometimes bitter aftertaste, blissful yet agonizingly painful!
I have just been through a very painful breakup. We have been together for three years and was actually already engaged! And so after this one, I would have to say, I don't think I'm ready to fall in love again at the moment. The wounds may have almost healed, but not yet completely. And it still bleeds from time to time. Another heartbreak this early might just kill my heart completely! No, I definitely am not looking forward to falling in love anytime soon!
This does not mean, however, that I have no intention of falling in love again! Whatever I may feel right now, I do still believe in love. I have to, because I need love. Everybody does, I think, in varying degrees.
For now though, I am quite content to be on the dating scene once more -- meeting men, getting to know what makes them tick, having absolutely no commitments and no strings attached! I have to admit, it's actually a lot of fun being single! Yes, it could get lonely sometimes, but it's still a lot of fun! Especially when you know how to play the game! And I would have to say that I do play it fairly well. I guess the years of crying over lost loves and broken hearts have taught me to deal with the reality of Love, in effect teaching me how not to feel and build walls around my heart instead.
Someday, I might find someone to love again. He'll probably break my heart all over again, too. And I would be left a little more bitter, a little less hopeful, and ultimately more cynical each time I let myself fall prey to the snares of love. But being the fool that I am, I know I'd still rise above the pain and go through that whole agonizing process all over again, hoping that the next one would be the right one. I suppose that when it comes to love, everyone is a fool with no one the wiser.
So maybe love is a cunt. Okay, I suppose I would have to agree that sometimes love is a cunt. But love is love, and we are who we are. And, whether we are willing to admit it or not, we all need love -- real love -- in one way or another! I know I do. Just not right now.
For some people, I guess love is a cunt. For others, probably not. For me, though, I'm not really quite sure what to make of it at the moment.
Love is love. And I guess I do love Love. But at the same time, for now anyway, I have had it with falling in love -- falling in love and having my heart broken, over and over again!
I used to have this notion that when I fall in love, that would be it! And it will be everything I have ever dreamed of -- everything that I have read about in books and seen in those silly romantic movies that I love to watch! Now, after four serious relationships and several flings, I would have to say that at one point, love was everything I imagined it to be, and even so much more than that. And yet, at times, it had also been nothing at all like how I have believed it to be! And after everything that I have been through with love, experience has definitely taught me to become a realist! Love, after all, is a crazy thing -- it's simple yet complicated, sweet with a sometimes bitter aftertaste, blissful yet agonizingly painful!
I have just been through a very painful breakup. We have been together for three years and was actually already engaged! And so after this one, I would have to say, I don't think I'm ready to fall in love again at the moment. The wounds may have almost healed, but not yet completely. And it still bleeds from time to time. Another heartbreak this early might just kill my heart completely! No, I definitely am not looking forward to falling in love anytime soon!
This does not mean, however, that I have no intention of falling in love again! Whatever I may feel right now, I do still believe in love. I have to, because I need love. Everybody does, I think, in varying degrees.
For now though, I am quite content to be on the dating scene once more -- meeting men, getting to know what makes them tick, having absolutely no commitments and no strings attached! I have to admit, it's actually a lot of fun being single! Yes, it could get lonely sometimes, but it's still a lot of fun! Especially when you know how to play the game! And I would have to say that I do play it fairly well. I guess the years of crying over lost loves and broken hearts have taught me to deal with the reality of Love, in effect teaching me how not to feel and build walls around my heart instead.
Someday, I might find someone to love again. He'll probably break my heart all over again, too. And I would be left a little more bitter, a little less hopeful, and ultimately more cynical each time I let myself fall prey to the snares of love. But being the fool that I am, I know I'd still rise above the pain and go through that whole agonizing process all over again, hoping that the next one would be the right one. I suppose that when it comes to love, everyone is a fool with no one the wiser.
So maybe love is a cunt. Okay, I suppose I would have to agree that sometimes love is a cunt. But love is love, and we are who we are. And, whether we are willing to admit it or not, we all need love -- real love -- in one way or another! I know I do. Just not right now.
posted by - she - | 1:55 pm
One of the myriad cunt-flaps of love (especially for hopeless romantics as most of us are) - is our absolute need for it. Going round and round the cycle of relationship > break-up > scar tissue cannot stop it. It's like hammering a 9-inch nail through your temples again and again, hoping that the scar tissue might stop it from hurting the next time it penetrates your brain - a fool's errand surely? Yet we do it. That's what love can do. Sheryl is stating pretty much what I think, albeit with less swearing and far more fucking exclamation marks.