I'm A Dreamer And He Is A Cunt!!

To live a dream is to lie, for the dreams on which i'd lived were never to come true. I woke as i did everyday with him on my mind, this time it was different, really different. For the first time in a long time i wasn't longing for him, i'd finally come to realise that he wasn't the person i once thought he was. From the start we'd been open and honest getting to know each other as friends do, but between us it was somehow different, of course there's the obvious flirting, play fighting, days out, generally having a good time, even down to seeing each other looking our roughest after a night of drinking and smoking and hardly any sleep, but it didn't seem to matter, as our friendship grew so too did my love for him. He didn't realise at first, but one day i felt it was time for me to tell him exactly how i felt, we went out for a drink and i told him, he basically brushed it of with "i'm sorry, i don't feel the same about you, but don't worry you'll find someone who likes you in that way soon enough!" with my heart crushed and feeling very awkward i finished my drink and went home, he said he'd call me later, he did but i didn't know what to say, for the next couple of days i found texting him was a lot easier than talking to him. Before i knew it things between us were back to normal, still the same old flirting and stuff but at least i knew where i stood, well i did then.........


That was last year,

now........well since then alot has happened, i've done a lot of soul searching and cried myself to sleep more times than i care to rememeber (as u do, well u do if ur a stupid mofo like me!). I've tried to seperate my feelings for him so as not to lose the connection we had, the last thing i wanted was to lose a really great friend, but as of yet i'm still not quite over him totally and if anything it's getting in the way, see he's now got a girlfriend who knows about me and what's gone on (well from his point of view) and now she wants to meet up, i guess so i can be part of their little happy circle of friends! Which in all fairness is only right i suppose, and i know he'd be happier, i just don't think i trust myself around her, especially if i'm out drinking, i could say anything, which scares the hell out of me (although might make for an interesting nite!) I don't particulary feel right in doing so, so now i'm stuck, not only with the fact that there's every chance i'm gonna be bumping into them, as they've started going to the same place that i go to with my other mates, but also the fact that i now know he lied to me about how he felt towards me, he kept how he felt about me quiet, for as shallow as this sounds he was actually more worried that i wasn't the perfect girlfriend for him(not a perfect size 10) to show off on his arm to his mates (shallow doesn't even come into it) therefore making me realise just how much of a CUNT he is, a good friend but a cunt all the same. I actually hate the way he's made ME feel like complete cunt for wasting my time and feelings on him!!

So children to dream of the perfect love is simply to dream, don't try to make it reality! Or else risk being the cunt or the cunted!

Love Is Indeed A Cunt!