Today's Break-up
I'm trying to be calm. I'm trying not to think about it. All I want to do is sleep, though that could be because our arguement kept us up to about 5am. Longest break-up I've ever had. I'm not mad. I understand it's for the best, but it still hurts more than anything I've ever experienced in my whole life.
I'm young, and used to shy away from serious relationships because I never wanted to feel this way. I met a guy I thought I could spend forever with but forever turned out to be a year. Eventually I'm sure I'll be okay, or that's what I have to tell myself to prevent the tears flooding back down on my face. In the end it was hestitantly mutual. He knew I'd never be happy with him and I knew that he was right, but I had believed for so long that love was enough and everything else would turn out. Wrong. Guess I've watched too many hollywood movies.
I still love him. Maybe I always will, I don't know. I've never met anyone I felt more fascinated and intrigued by, but in the end we make better friends than lovers. We were both looking for two different things and both of us are too stubborn (or smart) to compromise.
I always thought a relationship ending meant that one (or both) people had fucked up; that someone lied, or cheated, or fell out of love with the other. I never thought that two people could be in love with each other, be honest and faithful to each other, and still have the relationship come to an end. Having read this forum for awhile I never thought I'd post on it, but until this very moment I had never believed that love is a cunt.
I'm young, and used to shy away from serious relationships because I never wanted to feel this way. I met a guy I thought I could spend forever with but forever turned out to be a year. Eventually I'm sure I'll be okay, or that's what I have to tell myself to prevent the tears flooding back down on my face. In the end it was hestitantly mutual. He knew I'd never be happy with him and I knew that he was right, but I had believed for so long that love was enough and everything else would turn out. Wrong. Guess I've watched too many hollywood movies.
I still love him. Maybe I always will, I don't know. I've never met anyone I felt more fascinated and intrigued by, but in the end we make better friends than lovers. We were both looking for two different things and both of us are too stubborn (or smart) to compromise.
I always thought a relationship ending meant that one (or both) people had fucked up; that someone lied, or cheated, or fell out of love with the other. I never thought that two people could be in love with each other, be honest and faithful to each other, and still have the relationship come to an end. Having read this forum for awhile I never thought I'd post on it, but until this very moment I had never believed that love is a cunt.
posted by Anonymous | 2:10 am
Welcome, Ms. Addams. As you say, it's hard to believe in LIAC until it's approached you and giggled, "hey, I found this mass of shredded ventricles and aorta clogging up the waste disposal unit, is it yours? Oh yeah, it is, haha... Here you go...".
And with that, LIAC falls in like the Red Sea. And yep - relationships can... Simply end. For no specific, evil reason. Just like that. Sorry it happened to you.
SL, you sound like a guy that saw someone lose the priceless, diamond-encrusted, Dodo-beak pendant that their mother gave them on her deathbed, and said "I know you just dropped a gift that meant everything to you over a cliff and you might never see it again, but let me add this - you've also lost the best thing in the world". Aww...
Doesn't stop you being 100% correct, of course.
Greetings Ms. Addams. Misery loves company. You'll find no shortage of that here.
This year I experienced a loss so profound that embracing LIAC as gospel was my only salvation. Love's a cunt, but laughter heals. In fact, this site has had me laughing so hard that my spleen exploded. Hrm. So, maybe it doesn't heal.
Regardless, my heart is now under lock and key, in cryogenic storage, and surrounded by razor wire and rabid wolverines. I suggest you do the same.
Keep writing, but be sure to add a smattering of invective and expletives. Offensive indignation is an art form here and an effective anodyne for the lovelorn soul.
And welcome.
Bad endings are neccessary. If they're not bad, they'll never end!