Love in the future

I've reported my complete past and imaginary present love situations, so all that's left is the future. The first possibility is a blank page, which I fear the most and using the inertia principle, if things are a certain way that's the way they're most likely to stay. I did however get spoken to by a very nice woman in a shop today, which happens so rarely I can't remember the last time it happened, but though I was getting ready to get my pen out she didn't keep it going when I saw her in a cafe next door, but it shows even the rarest events do happen if you wait long enough.

I was talking about enlightenment with a friend once, and he and I both concluded the reason all my meditations are relatively stuck is because I need love to open me up spiritually. It made sense, as my heart has frozen over from lack of use. I've already technically established only speed dating and singles bars (which we don't have in the UK) would be the only simple way to find love in the 21st century for me, plus the apparently defunct singles nights in supermarkets which were tried a number of years ago before I heard about them in time to try one. Trying to lasso a puff of smoke is more or less what looking for love is. Many say not to try, and basically I get the same results whatever I do. It's one of those things that for me (not others as I hear enough stories) appears to be almost as rare as finding a diamond in the street, so I can only ignore the whole issue and wait to see when it arrives itself. I do, of course, meet some women I doubt would develop into love but are better than nothing (cynical or realistic- you tell me?) and now even they have started to flick me off in the last few years. And of course, it's all or nothing when I don't love them, they either don't take me in the first place or fall in love with me when I don't want to do anything about it.
That's a consistent formula as long as I can remember, and possibly another category I could recount, though a depressing one. My lack of interest in itself turns so many women into grasping hoovers, and the more I do to put them off, the more they want. Ridiculous. So then I chuck them, and they come back and try again and again. So I know it's not me. Believe me, the article about men who learn to pull shows it's as much about skill and presentation as what you were born with, and I can add it's rarely the qualities you think will work that do anyway.

Over the last 30 years my success rate has gone from maybe once a month to once every three years on average (you work out exactly what I mean...). I will elaborate I don't mean going all the way though, I'm not Ron Jeremy, though we have a lot in common (no, I mean short, dark and Jewish...). That's more a supply problem than me suddenly aging badly, and all the places I go nowadays still have many many incredible women there, who are either taken or ignore me so I can't even find out. The day I'm at my community centre and some woman comes and speaks to me (I've been a member almost three years and still waiting) may be the end of my ordeal. I do have one actually, we have a steam room and once a gorgeous woman came in and started talking. The trouble is you can't sit long and chat in a steam room, it's bloody hot. Her small bikini and amazing body took much of my mental power as well so there was little left for conversation and after a few minutes I had to go as my time was up. I saw her again and said hello, and she had to rush off to a class, and finally I discovered a table tennis table had been set up, and asked her if she wanted a game (good strategy usually) and she said she couldn't play. Fair enough, hint missed the mark by a million and one miles. She kept out of my way after that, though I did see her once leaving with a man that looked as if he'd just been paroled for murder.

I'll conclude with a quick summary of my assets and liabilities, as no one here knows me.
On the plus side, I'm well qualified, solvent, creative, funny and understanding. I never criticise or lose my temper and am a good listener.
On the minus, I'm short, losing my hair, relatively agoraphobic which varies over time, and stopped me from having a job some time ago, and can watch TV or work on the computer all day quite happily most of the time.

Looking at everyone else I know, we're all a mixture from the few muff magnets at one end (though nearly all my friends have been married around 15 years so that is looking back), but one who just separated was pulled within minutes of his wife leaving the area, as he always did prior to marriage. But he has two sisters who taught him all he could know to succeed. There are a few no hopers at the other end, who I used to go out with every weekend in the 70s, and out of a few I only saw one with a woman in all that time. And the few in the middle who aren't married, or only got the odd girlfriend before they were, but have no particular assets or difficulties either way. I actually whizzed through girlfriends but not because I was good, but because I couldn't keep one very long but was incredibly persistent and kept replacing them with the same result. And until about 20 years ago I went out like anyone else, so that wasn't an issue either and hasn't put off the few I told about my problem thank goodness. I already established I didn't have a habit or two that put them off as so many fell in love with me, the rest were just apparently destined to fail one way or another.

I know people on blogs are frank, so if there are any clues how I repel those I love so consistenly while attracting many others I don't, let me know. The man can only see his own face in a mirror, and you're my mirror to tell me anything you can see that I can't. Can it really be a random result or have I found a formula that destroys every opportunity I have for love before it can be fulfilled?