Love is a bitch

*A conversation between me and a good ex of mine. It reminds me why love is a complete cunt.*


Rae says:I just had a convo with I**. I let him have it and all he said was "You're right", and then I started crying and told him I loved him and missed him and that it hurt a lot.

J. says:*sigh*

Rae says:It hurts so much Jesse

J. says:I know.

Rae says:I just want to get over him

J. says:I want you to get over him too. he's SUCH a wad.

Rae says:He has potential. He doesn't have to be a wad

J. says:dont start thinking like that again. Remember how a year disappeared last time you thought that?

Rae says:Was that what I thought going into it?

J. says:no, but within a month of being with him, you had told me about some of the issues, and by the end, nothing had changed. I'm afraid I saw this coming, and I bet alot of people did. You can only take so much rachel. If someone like you couldnt change him, then not a whole lot could. You've taken enough of his shit..

Rae says:I wanted to be strong enough for him. I feel like I've failed

J. says:I know how you feel

J. says:I wanted to be your everything, I wanted to grow old and raise a good family, and have the craziest 40th anniversary, spend thousands on viagra and die happy with you at around 90 or so.

Rae says:lol

Rae says:viagra eh?

J. says:well, I doubt it'd be the keenes bean after a good 70 or 80 years

Rae says:lol

J. says:I know what its like to lose a piece of my life... but my piece wasnt a raging asshole.. you should see it as a pass go and collect 200 dollars kinda deal..

J. says:you should be happy to be rid of that tool. He's a sociopath.

Rae says:You say sociopath, I say interesting

J. says:potential or not, he's not a good person.

Rae says:Seriously though, that's my problem. I like freaky boys

J. says:I didnt have enough of that freak in me, did I?

Rae says:There were things I didn't feel we were compatible with

J. says:its weird, on a personality level, I've never felt closer to anyone. we liked the same things, and where even passionate about it. but you've got a dark patch that I just cant satisfy.. I could never give you everything you wanted..

Rae says:love's a bitch, isn't it?

J. says:agreed..

J.says:I still cant believe I've had sex..

Rae says:LOL

Rae says:Where'd that come from?

J. says:heh, love makes people do crazy things!

Rae says:It amazes me how many times guys have said "Thank you" to me after sex... Why thank you exactly? I'm not a hooker.

J. says:before I met you, I was totally cool with staying a virgin for the next 10 years. heh.

Rae says:Hmm..

J. says:maybe we could change the subject..

Rae says:sorry

J. says:its oki

J. says:heh, weird.. after all this talk, just now did I get hit with an overwealming sadness..

Rae says:why?

J. says:I remember the first night at my house, I was on top of you with my arms wrapped around you, fingers lightly digging into your back, and your legs wrapped around me, I was breathing against your neck, and just everything seemed perfect.. nothing else mattered at all, but us.. I probably said thank you because you made my world complete..

J. says:and I got really sad knowing the purest feeling I've ever had is gone.

Rae says:... I'm sorry...

J. says:no, its okay.. I suppose these things just happen.

Rae says:You'll never forget it. But it gets easier...

J. says:I know.. but every time I've been with a girl since then, I feel nothing...

J. says:I mean, I'm glad that they like it, I feel some pride in making them cum, but its like sex for me is just dead..

Rae says:i'm sorry

J. says:no, dont be... you gave me the purest feeling I've ever had. even if it is gone, I did get to have it once.. and perhaps someday I'll find it again..