Shakespeare Lies
Good feelings are transient, bad ones are not.
That’s the deal you signed when you came out of the womb. You don’t know you signed it - it’s just one of those things in the contract of human nature. That long list of fucked up traits and clauses that Satan drafted and God approved and that you’re now stuck with until you die.
Right there, in Section 342 “You’re Fucked”, in Paragraph 712 “Contradictory Feeling Implementations”, Clause 93b “Negative Reinforcement”, it clearly states “You will agree to acclimatise to good feelings far more quickly than bad ones.”. Yeah, you agreed to that. Asshole.
This is why, at night, you suffer insomnia over bad thoughts rather than good ones. It’s why you remember that horrible insult levelled at you when you were nine years old and have already forgotten that someone paid you a compliment yesterday. It’s why when all is well, the tiniest most trivial fuckery will null the goodness in your life and send you crashing into the deep, panther-filled caverns of life-is-shitsville. It’s why fondness can only be fresh while hatred lasts forever. It’s why requited love fades and unrequited love does not.
I know, you fucking clit, I know you think true love is this crazy eternal thing. But it’s not. Once you understand my last two sentences, properly, then you’ll be that much further along in understanding exactly what it is you’re doing here. And you’ve wasted too much time on your precious, impossible ideals already, so pay attention now.
The story of eternal, unfading love has been common in all walks of fiction since the dawn of our species. The reason for this isn’t because it does happen, but because it doesn’t happen and we want it to. Just like we enjoy stories about people that go from rags to riches, or defeat the odds to overpower seven thousand million bad guys and save the world, or part the red sea or somehow manage to screw Jennifer Aniston even though they look like a sodding monkey, we enjoy stories about undying love. The common theme here is impossibility and myth. This shit just doesn’t happen. Well, it might happen, but it sure as fuck doesn’t happen to you.
Never to you. Get over it.
Nobody you know has been in eternal love. Nobody. Love fades after some years of being requited, to be replaced with a deep friendship that might feel a bit like love, but it’s not even a tiny fractional hemidemisemi-speck of the soul-apotheosis you felt when you kissed her the first time.
“OH,” you’ll say, “but OH that deep friendship is love! You’re just defining things differently than me!”. Shut the fuck up, man. Seriously, shut the fuck up and put your chin in a meat grinder. If there’s one thing I’ve had enough of, it’s arguing over definitions of love. We all know what love feels like. It’s inexplicable and fucking amazing and unsustainable. One example: There is no way you’re going to think about someone 24/7 for decades. Weeks, yes; years, maybe; decades, no. And if you’re not thinking about someone 24/7 then you aren’t in love with them. Fact. So shut it.
Unrequited love, however, can last forever. Funny, isn’t it? Yep. Ha.
Ha ha ha.
That’s the deal you signed when you came out of the womb. You don’t know you signed it - it’s just one of those things in the contract of human nature. That long list of fucked up traits and clauses that Satan drafted and God approved and that you’re now stuck with until you die.
Right there, in Section 342 “You’re Fucked”, in Paragraph 712 “Contradictory Feeling Implementations”, Clause 93b “Negative Reinforcement”, it clearly states “You will agree to acclimatise to good feelings far more quickly than bad ones.”. Yeah, you agreed to that. Asshole.
This is why, at night, you suffer insomnia over bad thoughts rather than good ones. It’s why you remember that horrible insult levelled at you when you were nine years old and have already forgotten that someone paid you a compliment yesterday. It’s why when all is well, the tiniest most trivial fuckery will null the goodness in your life and send you crashing into the deep, panther-filled caverns of life-is-shitsville. It’s why fondness can only be fresh while hatred lasts forever. It’s why requited love fades and unrequited love does not.
I know, you fucking clit, I know you think true love is this crazy eternal thing. But it’s not. Once you understand my last two sentences, properly, then you’ll be that much further along in understanding exactly what it is you’re doing here. And you’ve wasted too much time on your precious, impossible ideals already, so pay attention now.
The story of eternal, unfading love has been common in all walks of fiction since the dawn of our species. The reason for this isn’t because it does happen, but because it doesn’t happen and we want it to. Just like we enjoy stories about people that go from rags to riches, or defeat the odds to overpower seven thousand million bad guys and save the world, or part the red sea or somehow manage to screw Jennifer Aniston even though they look like a sodding monkey, we enjoy stories about undying love. The common theme here is impossibility and myth. This shit just doesn’t happen. Well, it might happen, but it sure as fuck doesn’t happen to you.
Never to you. Get over it.
Nobody you know has been in eternal love. Nobody. Love fades after some years of being requited, to be replaced with a deep friendship that might feel a bit like love, but it’s not even a tiny fractional hemidemisemi-speck of the soul-apotheosis you felt when you kissed her the first time.
“OH,” you’ll say, “but OH that deep friendship is love! You’re just defining things differently than me!”. Shut the fuck up, man. Seriously, shut the fuck up and put your chin in a meat grinder. If there’s one thing I’ve had enough of, it’s arguing over definitions of love. We all know what love feels like. It’s inexplicable and fucking amazing and unsustainable. One example: There is no way you’re going to think about someone 24/7 for decades. Weeks, yes; years, maybe; decades, no. And if you’re not thinking about someone 24/7 then you aren’t in love with them. Fact. So shut it.
Unrequited love, however, can last forever. Funny, isn’t it? Yep. Ha.
Ha ha ha.
posted by Juliet is Bleeding... | 6:09 pm
Why does everything you say sounds so convincing and correct when I first read it? What you say about our liking for impossibilites and myth is also true but surely love can't be defined as the feeling of your first kiss (lust) or thinking about someone 24/7 (obsession). Isn't the fixation about unrequited love some kind of failure to accept a defeat or a challenge that you lost or self-pity? Unrequited love lasts forever because it is something you never manage to achieve and you always want what you can't get? (of course you=us=human).
damn! talk about some honest truth. =)
BUK: I don't think you can define love as lust or obsession but I do think those things occur during love - neither is unhealthy / bad in the requited forms. As far as unrequited love lasting forever goes, yep, I think it runs along the lines of what you said. Also, unrequited love is (largely) a fantasy - which makes it easier to remain spellbound by than the reality of a relationship.
I fear there already exists a magic bullet for unrequited love, which in fact is an entirely unmagical bullet to the face.
Damn, thank you for making me laugh. In a good way. Very convincing...
unrequited love is like Ebola, once contracted, can't be eliminated. Great post :)