A year of space

I haven't been here for a while. Why? Not a thing to report. I can list now even more women who have let me down, one more than others as she was one I'd relied on for over 30 years the rare times we spoke. First she was too young, then too far away, then married, then divorced with a boyfriend. But always wanted me. Until now. She rang saying she wanted to move to London and implied she'd been dumped. I waited to hear more as she wouldn't let me call her (long story) and after 6 months gave up and sent a few messages. Nothing. This from the woman who thought the world of me on and off since we were 14 and now she turns into the same sort of horse's backside all the others always were. I'll phone her soon and see if she lets me get a word in before it goes down as well, all totally unnecessary considering she rang me and was on the phone for ages last time we were in contact, then she treats me like cancer. Bitch.

I haven't met anyone since I can't even remember when, and have become beyond caring. I genuinely believe people turn up at the right time and we can do little about it, even if you go out every night as I almost did once the good ones still piss you around and you end up with nothing so makes little difference in the end. The only small light in the tunnel is a very attractive but mental woman I've known some time who went out with me once, disappeared and then admitted months later her boyfriend had come back. Now she's fed up with him and I may be next. No conversation or apparent brain but the rest makes up for it. The rule always was and is 'Over 40 take, what you're given'. All that happened was when I widened the goalposts in 2000 the women became better goalkeepers. Their standards rose as mine dropped. I had a few successes since, both unusable for long, one lives abroad and was here on a flying visit and the other spent more time in the asylum than home. To add to that with the same one who is hanging around now. But I now look at the cheese and not the holes and am happy with anything that is not unattractive, more is a bonus.

I also knew as we all do that TV personalities get women as they're on TV. Well since 2005 I've been on cable a few times and have another due to be on some time before I die, hopefully. I expect if this ever crosses the mainstream where people actually see it in 7 figures it may allow me to meet a few more people. Apart from being the average height for a woman, until my hair started going there was nothing that bad about me, I did actually go through many women in my teens and twenties, (still had hair then admittedly), but the good ones never lasted. And there were many. By 30 the supply dried up as everyone else was married and I got a decade of divorcees and mental patients far older than me that never wanted a relationship when it actually came close to becoming reality. I had one attractive two timer who let me take her out but had sex with the other man I didn't know about till she left me for him. She turned out to be so bossy and weird anyway it would never have worked besides the non-existent but potential physical side. The the three I described since and that was it. Plus a string of ex girlfriends I used for convenient sex but the same as living on vitamin pills and astronaut meals while others ate like kings. That packed up when the last remaining one met someone else last year and spent her whole time with him ever since. No great loss really except I was left with a huge gap to fill which has no clue where the filler is coming from. But it always has before. The gaps have increased to 3-4 years now but they arrive eventually. And internet dating, singles functions or not it's when they choose to not when I do. No formula I know of any different from that.