Foul temptress: Update #1.
Not much to report, sadly.
I went out with Co-worker Wednesday night. We went to a show - I'm reviewing an album by a band that was playing - and got moderately drunk. Well, I was only moderately drunk. He'd had three beers and a little smokable tastiness before I picked him up. We stopped paying attention after the first band.
It was not because we were frantically making out, alas. Instead we were babbling to each other uncontrollably, chugging PBRs and playing pinball. After the bar got too crowded we decamped to another, stranger place across the street for a nightcap (bien sur).
We had one beer at the bizarre bar, then went and sat in my car for a little bit before I drove our asses home. While sitting there we talked about the Rolling Stones. His favorite album is Beggars Banquet.
I think I fell in love with him right there. Not because my favorite Stones record is Beggars Banquet (it's probably Exile), but because I suddenly couldn't believe I'd met someone so amazing. If he were single, I would have pounced on him. Absolutely pounced.
But it all ended friendship-style.
Perhaps the initial heat has worn off. I am also starting to worry that I'm falling under my own love-spell, but I don't think it'll get too bad. If he never makes any move on me, at least he'll have a perfectly good reason not to. It's not like one of those horrible crushes where the stars seem to be aligned and everything seems perfect...but they inexplicably don't want you. Those ones suck. But there will always be a reason that nothing ever happened with Co-worker: his lovely long-term girlfriend.
Ah, well. He is great, though. He used the word "vituperative" in a sentence yesterday.
I went out with Co-worker Wednesday night. We went to a show - I'm reviewing an album by a band that was playing - and got moderately drunk. Well, I was only moderately drunk. He'd had three beers and a little smokable tastiness before I picked him up. We stopped paying attention after the first band.
It was not because we were frantically making out, alas. Instead we were babbling to each other uncontrollably, chugging PBRs and playing pinball. After the bar got too crowded we decamped to another, stranger place across the street for a nightcap (bien sur).
We had one beer at the bizarre bar, then went and sat in my car for a little bit before I drove our asses home. While sitting there we talked about the Rolling Stones. His favorite album is Beggars Banquet.
I think I fell in love with him right there. Not because my favorite Stones record is Beggars Banquet (it's probably Exile), but because I suddenly couldn't believe I'd met someone so amazing. If he were single, I would have pounced on him. Absolutely pounced.
But it all ended friendship-style.
Perhaps the initial heat has worn off. I am also starting to worry that I'm falling under my own love-spell, but I don't think it'll get too bad. If he never makes any move on me, at least he'll have a perfectly good reason not to. It's not like one of those horrible crushes where the stars seem to be aligned and everything seems perfect...but they inexplicably don't want you. Those ones suck. But there will always be a reason that nothing ever happened with Co-worker: his lovely long-term girlfriend.
Ah, well. He is great, though. He used the word "vituperative" in a sentence yesterday.
posted by Kathleen | 1:03 am
at least you're realistic about the whole situation. perhaps it is best to just leave it at friends. but if they ever break up, make your move.
oh, and don't drink and drive.
:)
I can't say I've ever based the foundation of a wonderful relationship on a fucking band, but hey whatever it takes to get your daisy wet.
And if some guy is going out with you to a bar, he doesn't like his girlfriend. And if he does like her, he wants to cheat on her.
Women don't let their boyfriends go to bars with other women. That's completely against our whole code of relationship ethics.
Anyway. You should just fuck him.
He'll probably be shit in bed though. Rolling Stones fans usually invest all of their effort into crappy twang instrumentals.
wow... um... talk about massive generalizations in that comment there.
personally, i wouldnt have a problem with my boyfriend (my current, or any other one for that matter) going out to a bar with a female friend of his.
i dont happen to be someone who believes that persons of opposite gender are incapable of being in a completely platonic relationship. in fact, most of my friends are guys, and going to a bar with them has nothing to do with sex or cheating on our respective significant others, and everything to do with getting plastered out of our minds and having a damned good time (get this) --as friends--.
men and women going out together is not always about "fucking", nor should it be.
oh... and as a comment on the actual post... wow... vituperative?? and he used it correctly?? ummm if he ever loses that girlfriend, definitely pounce. until then, there is absolutely nothing wrong with loving him anyway :) as if any of us actually get a choice about loving anyone... heh.
Tess, you're old.
I don't mean that in a derogatory way - I just like being blunt and potentially offensive in my first statement so that people keep reading. What I really mean is that the whole 'platonic single friends of opposite sex' thing only occurs with more mature people.
The younger you go towards puberty, the more I do *not* believe that two people of connecting sexual persuasions can be 'just friends'. There is some element of attraction, no matter how small. Even if one or both parties are involved with someone else.
So really speaking, you would do well to stop your man from hanging out with young girls (assuming he does and you let him). Chances are, they want his whanger in them. And young girls always get the whangers they want.
(unless they're rough)
lol. old. me. yes. uh huh 25 is soooo old :P
maybe i just have a good circle of friends. maybe the the "norm" is changing. i dont know. all i can speak with certainty about is that here, with the people that i know, the people that i hang out with (when i have time to hang out that is), the platonic friends of opposite sex thing --is-- the norm. its not just for old people anymore, since we're talking about a large group ranging in age from 18 to 33.
and i think it has less to do with maturity than it does with respect. i respect that my guy friends have girlfriends, and wouldnt mess with that. they respect that their girl friends have boyfriends, and wouldnt mess with that. thats not to say that friendly flirting doesnt happen... but nothing ever comes of it, out of respect for each other. maybe thats rare. i dont know. but thats how it is in my corner of the world.
25 isn't old, but I did kinda cater for that by saying it's to do with maturity rather than age per se you daft bint.
Anyway, I don't buy it. Guys have dicks, and before they're mature enough to know better, that's exactly what they think with. Ditto for girls, but substitute the words 'need for companionship and dicking' for 'dick'.
Quick census of any group of friends - and they're all around the same level of attractiveness. What's that all about, eh?
There is only one segment of society where respect supercedes animal needs and urges at all ages and times, and that's the ugly one. Not saying you're ugly, but you know... Just guessing!
i'm going to agree with fucking didums on this one. my husband and his friends (male and female), think i'm completely mean and conservative (damn straight!), because i do not believe a man and a woman should hang out together so casually like that. it can lead to certain situations, like the one girlwithaknife is dealing with.
i also agree, that this man is so wanting to fuck you. as i think any man is, who spends time with a woman like that. and if you don't think, so you're not thinking right.
men and women can't be friends. one of them always wants to fuck the other one.
and i unfortunately had to learn this by experience. now, my husband realizes i was right.
Girlwithaknife,
Trust me, he wants you. So fuck him. Fuck him like you've never fucked a guy before. If he were that happy with his 'ideal' girlfriend in his perfect relationship he wouldn't be spending hours hugging you. Be the foul temptress because you *can*. Believe me, remorse is better than regret and take it from someone who knows, if you don't take the chance and seduce him you'll be forever asking yourself what would have been. And that is pure hell. I didn't take the chance and cursed myself for a year. Then, by some stroke of divine fate, I was presented with *another* chance. You can be sure I didn't hesitate to take it. And it was just as good as I thought it would be.
Just give it time. You'll see. He wants you.