The black, weeping envelope.
I was reading butterflyuk’s blog the other day and stumbled over a post that oiled my cogs and fired up the big, self-assured rant-generator in my arse. It was about that commonplace and heinous crime – emotional blackmail.
Observe the specific example I want to nail:
“I love you.”
“What?”
“I can’t help it anymore, I love you.”
“Well, stop it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not a lesbian!”
“But I can’t help it, Melissa.”
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”
“Nothing. I just hope that one day you love me back.”
“Danielle, I’m not going to.”
“But you should be more open to-
And etc. etc. Okay, so in my role-play both protagonists are girls. That’s just because I like shit to go down like that. But I’m rather hoping you can see what I’m illustrating, which is actually a case of something quite common. Someone asking someone else to deal with their feelings for them. Emotional blackmail.
Now, there are subtle distinctions here. I’m not saying it’s cuntish to harbour feelings for someone in secret. God knows, we all do that, wretched bastards that we are. Neither am I saying it’s cuntish to harbour feelings for someone and tell them about it. If you’re secretly in love with someone, then it could do good to the situation to let them know. Then they’ll understand when you start randomly self-harming during their dates with other folks. Or they can redress how they act around you. Or they might fall for you. Haha. Right.
We move into the realms of emotional blackmail realm when we tell them and expect them to deal with our feelings.
That’s where the subtle distinction comes in. Sometimes, it’s hard to spot. But it’s usually when the person doing the blackmailing keeps mentioning their feelings – as though the blackmailee should be taking them into consideration at all times. WTF? These are the blackmailer’s feelings, needing to be dealt with by the blackmailer. Nobody else. If he/she can’t hack it, then he/she should shove it or fuck off or both.
Because, let’s face it: These total cunts are trying to say that you owe them something because they feel a certain way. They’re trying to make out like it’s your fault they like you so much, that perhaps you led them on, or maybe they’re going through a hard time. They put the guilt on you, and the onus on you to make up for it. What a crock.
And sadly, there are folks out there that are well up for mercy fucking these psychological wrecks, doubling the stakes and redoubling the problem. They are cunts, too.
And the LIAC? Well, 99% of ongoing relationships started or evolved with some form of it. The other 1% are the couples that fell mutually in love at the same exact rate all the way to the bottom.
That’s a statistic I made up, of course, based on the Cuntageddon that I see around me. But if you think about it, you might just glimpse the demons.
Good luck out there!
Observe the specific example I want to nail:
“I love you.”
“What?”
“I can’t help it anymore, I love you.”
“Well, stop it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not a lesbian!”
“But I can’t help it, Melissa.”
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”
“Nothing. I just hope that one day you love me back.”
“Danielle, I’m not going to.”
“But you should be more open to-
And etc. etc. Okay, so in my role-play both protagonists are girls. That’s just because I like shit to go down like that. But I’m rather hoping you can see what I’m illustrating, which is actually a case of something quite common. Someone asking someone else to deal with their feelings for them. Emotional blackmail.
Now, there are subtle distinctions here. I’m not saying it’s cuntish to harbour feelings for someone in secret. God knows, we all do that, wretched bastards that we are. Neither am I saying it’s cuntish to harbour feelings for someone and tell them about it. If you’re secretly in love with someone, then it could do good to the situation to let them know. Then they’ll understand when you start randomly self-harming during their dates with other folks. Or they can redress how they act around you. Or they might fall for you. Haha. Right.
We move into the realms of emotional blackmail realm when we tell them and expect them to deal with our feelings.
That’s where the subtle distinction comes in. Sometimes, it’s hard to spot. But it’s usually when the person doing the blackmailing keeps mentioning their feelings – as though the blackmailee should be taking them into consideration at all times. WTF? These are the blackmailer’s feelings, needing to be dealt with by the blackmailer. Nobody else. If he/she can’t hack it, then he/she should shove it or fuck off or both.
Because, let’s face it: These total cunts are trying to say that you owe them something because they feel a certain way. They’re trying to make out like it’s your fault they like you so much, that perhaps you led them on, or maybe they’re going through a hard time. They put the guilt on you, and the onus on you to make up for it. What a crock.
And sadly, there are folks out there that are well up for mercy fucking these psychological wrecks, doubling the stakes and redoubling the problem. They are cunts, too.
And the LIAC? Well, 99% of ongoing relationships started or evolved with some form of it. The other 1% are the couples that fell mutually in love at the same exact rate all the way to the bottom.
That’s a statistic I made up, of course, based on the Cuntageddon that I see around me. But if you think about it, you might just glimpse the demons.
Good luck out there!
posted by Juliet is Bleeding... | 10:24 am
i went through that and it was hell they make u feel guilty for not being in love with them.its not fair ,it almost ruined my life,youve got to think about yourself and not let them take over.
I love this post. I'm just now trying to extricate myself from a situation like that I was in with a guy friend a couple months ago. In order to disaude any dilusions that he may have over the fact that wer'e friends and will never be anything more I made a plan.
My solution- avoidence. Blocking his email and IM's, not responding to phone texting, not answering his # on my phone, ect.. and if he says i'm a bad friend- fine.
I of course have this problem all the time...countless legions of unfortunate men professing their love for me. It's quite annoying.
I agree with iridescent...avoidance is all that works. Can't feed them crumbs. It only makes things worse. Though, I did have one friend who was kind enough to avoid me of his own accord until he was able to look at me without wringing his hands and gnashing his teeth. We're still friends now because he was able to respect my boundaries.
That statistic may not be very scientific, but I'll bet it's not far from the truth either. A great number of relationships do start out with one person falling for the other, and the latter simply reciprocating their feelings to a certain extent (e.g. because they feel flattered). In some cases, they do grow to really love each other, but in most cases, it's just a recipe for a whole lot of cuntitude later on.
I think a lot of people simply don't know what it's like to be in a relationship with someone they truly love and who loves them back the exact same way. Maybe it doesn't even exist. Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.
i am yet to find that kind of love..hope its out there.
iridescent & Tree: Yes, avoidance is sometimes the only way to slash the jugular of the situation.
Undies: I'm not even in that 100%. I'm in an external category with a total populace of 1 person - me - which entails a long string of relationships which act singularly to make me half-slash my jugular in a crazed, online attempt at converting angst into hits. Watch this space.
D: Yep, I agree with all of that. And I think that the precisely mutual love you mentioned does exist - but only for that lucky few (1%). To be honest, I also think there are people out there (in the 99% of folks I talked about) that think they've experienced it, but they're just fooling themselves because people like to deny a lot of shit. If they thought about it some, they'd slash their poor jugulars to ribbons.
nadz: Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But just in case, here's a knife and there's your jugular.
NB: I don't really think people commit suicide over relationships. I just make poor-taste jokes because I'm a retarded, callous git.